Not the GUMDROP buttons!!

For the first time this Christmas I decided it would be fun to build gingerbread houses.

It definitely looked easier than it was. But thankfully, since the boys are almost all teenagers they didn't need me to help them. Because trust me, I couldn't have!

So, in the end we had 5 mini houses. They all looked like they needed some help but we had a blast doing it and there was lots of laughing and a nice sugar high.

Just click play and enjoy!

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This Hurricane...called Life

Irene decided to pay us all a visit this past weekend and I have to say, after living in Oklahoma for 12 years I prefer tornado's. Admittedly, tornados are much less predictable than hurricanes but in my experience at least they are much shorter lived.

The rain started here where we live at about 5pm Friday evening and didn't stop until Saturday around 10pm. The wind which was up to at least 60 miles per hour began at about 3am or at least thats when Brian and I awoke to some major dripping. We began laying as many towels as we could along our front windows to try and absorb some of the water.

By 6:45am we quickly learned it was a futile attempt. Still we worked hard to contain the water. We placed buckets and cups in as many strategic places as possible in order to keep the floor from getting more wet. We dried towels in the dryer then replaced the soaked ones but that only lasted until 9am when the power went out. After that, it went downhill fast.

We quickly learned Jayden's doors in his room were no match for the wind and rain and about 1/4 of his room flooded. Our room also was in big trouble and 1/2 of it flooded spreading into our bathroom. We moved beds to the middle of said rooms and waited it out.

The only time I felt myself losing it was when my bedroom ceiling began to leak which I can only attribute to all the missing shingles.

Once our power went out we had no way of knowing how the storm was moving or how much longer we would have to put up with it but luckily I have a grandmother in OK who has Fox News on constantly so I would get updates as often as my phone would allow them through. Thank you Grammy.

We played games, I learned poker, we read, took naps and tried to ignore the constant pouring in of water in 3 of our rooms.

Our front door got so wet it no longer opens and closes without a 200lb weight of force.

Our laminate flooring has all buckled and both carpets are saturated and rooms a wreck!

Thankfully Sunday our friends, who had their power restored loaned us their generator and dehumidifier to at least begin the drying process.

We became painfully aware of just how much this was all going to cost and how adoption money would have to be dipped into but you know what...?

We are alive, we are safe and our house is basically still in tact. We are able bodied people with the ability and means to take care of the mess and its all just "stuff" anyway. I am thankful beyond words for all the generosity of others especially the hot meal last night from David and Anna.

So, last night we are sitting in our living room and its 89 degrees, Brian and I are passing the time watching a movie on the laptop and suddenly a flicker. Was it?? Yes it was!!!! Lights, camera ACTION!!! We had power. And it was a beautiful thing. We were smiling and laughing and hugging each other. It was like a scene from a movie. We were all so thankful.

Today begins more of the clean up and hopefully good news from the insurance company. I hope and pray we never have to go through another hurricane but I am thankful for the experience. It has once again reminded me just how good we have it and how we are surrounded by an amazing community of people who love us!

Please continue to pray with us for the rest of the people hit by this hurricane who continue to be without power and who have sustained worse damage than us. Thanks!

Here are some pics of our little adventure and some I took on our way to church yesterday.

Be blessed, I am!

This photo album made with Smilebox

Jared's Graduation~2011

Jayden, Me, Jared, my dad Richard, Brian and Jackson
Helping Jared get ready.
Jared with several of his friends.
Our family.
Jared and his best friend Tiana.

I still shake my head in disbelief that I have a child who's graduated. I still don't get that he'll be 18 in 2 weeks and I certainly am not ready for him to face the big bad world without me to protect him. But the reality is this-this time was always coming from the day I gave birth to him.

Jared may not have been born under the greatest of circumstances but he couldn't have been born into a more loving environment. I was only 20 years old and single. His "father" had really never been in the picture from the time I found out I was pregnant and I realized quickly I was on my own. Although my parents stepped in and picked up the slack there is nothing quite like being a couple in a situation like that.

I wasn't serving the Lord during that time of my life however towards the end of my pregnancy I began reading my bible a little bit starting with Genesis. Playing the name game alone isn't very much fun but my mom loved it and we tossed around all kinds of names for him like Aaron, James, Shelby, (I didn't know he was a boy), John, but then one evening as I sat reading my bible the name Jared just popped out at me and I knew that was what I was supposed to name him. In the bible, Jared was Enoch's father and Enoch was one who walked so closely with God and never tasted death. He simply wasn't there anymore. I loved that.

As long as I live I'll never forget his birthday. I went into labor at 3 in the afternoon. Nothing much really, more uncomfortable than anything else and when they admitted me at 6pm there was still not much going on and I started to think they might send me home. I remember being all alone hoping my mom would hurry up and get there and without warning I went into full blown labor with contractions coming every couple of minutes and they started to take me upstairs. I was terrified because I was by myself.
But then right as they were wheeling me into the elevator my mom was there.

It wasn't easy, not that its supposed to be but here's something funny. At about 10pm right in the thick of it my mom says "You know I'm not superstitious but it is Friday the 13th, maybe you could wait a couple of hours."
I was like "Are you kidding me? I don't care what the date is, he needs to get here!!"
So, fast forward 2 hours and she actually turns to me and says "OK, its 12:01, anytime you're ready to have that kid."
Of course at the time it was too intense to fully appreciate just how funny that was but shortly after and all these years later I still laugh about it.

There he was laying in his little bassinet and all I could do was look. All I could do was wonder how on earth could I possibly love someone so much I had just met. I was full to over flowing. It took my breath away.

And less than 2 years later God, in His amazingness provided a daddy for Jared and a husband for me. I never could have imagined in all I had done, in all the terrible ways I had lived that I would be worthy of such a precious gift. Thank God its never something we have to earn. I didn't deserve it but He gave it to me anyway. Brian was immediately wonderful with Jared, as if he had been there from the beginning. The first time I heard Jared call Brian "daddy" I thought my heart would explode. To this day I am always overcome with emotion as I recall how God had His hand in it all even though I couldn't have been farther from Him.
This is why I am such an advocate for being a praying parent. I know I was covered as a result of my mom's obedience to pray for her children.

It hasn't always been like that since then. There have been good times and bad times. But they are always overcome because we love like a family is supposed to love. Unconditionally.

The emotion surrounding these last few weeks has been, at times overwhelming as its forced me to recall all we've been through since Jared was born. I've had moments where I simply couldn't breathe when I think how this chapter is ending and a new one is beginning and in no time at all he won't even be living in my house. I won't be there to protect him when he gets hurt. But I also realized all this time I've been preparing him for exactly this. That has been my role these past 18 years. It doesn't mean I don't get to parent him anymore, it just means I might be doing it a little more silently.

It's Jared's time and I have to let go. It's time for him to fly away on his own and I have to take comfort knowing I did the best I could and with God's grace and mercy he will be OK.

A Crazy God Blessed Life.

There is only one word to describe our life over the past 8 weeks. CRAZY!!

The week before Jayden's 12th birthday we went to see this house after Brian's boss had seen some pictures online. He had asked us if we were still looking to move. The truth at that moment was NO! We were happy where we were and had no interest of battling the banks to try and get a loan after we had been denied in November. We figured this was where God wanted us and were quite content.

Still, it did spike our interest especially since it was a log home and a foreclosure that had never been lived in. So, we went. Admittedly it was overwhelming as to how far it was from where we currently lived but even from the outside we loved what we saw. Then we went in. WOW! That's all we walked around saying. We just couldn't believe that it was a foreclosure. It sits on an acre and a half of land and there are only 2 other houses on the other 8 and a half acres. There is also a creek about a minutes walk from the house which we would have full access to for fishing, kayaking etc. So, a week later we made an offer. Well, if you've ever dealt with a foreclosure then you know its a game to see who wins. When it was all said and done I know we won.

Then all the fun really began. That week I broke my arm and life was kind of on hold. So was the house especially when we were denied again. I really just felt that it wasn't God's timing and I wasn't about to get in the way of that so I told Brian we should take a step back. We let our realtor know the situation who in turn let the bank holding the house know and lets just say they wouldn't take NO for an answer. They started all kinds of wheels in motion while Brian and I sat back not knowing which way to go or what decision was right.

Meanwhile I still have a broken arm, we are going from adoption class to social worker interviews, homeschooling, church, work yada yada yada yada.

It just kept on and on, the bank trying to get us financed kept saying we will have an answer in a few days, a few days turned into a few weeks and before we knew it, it was almost the end of March. Brian and I went back and forth wondering, praying, seeking counsel, weighing all our options. Is this our house? If they approve us do we still want it? What about the location? What about our adoption? Could we put all this money down on a house and still find money to complete our adoption? The questions and concerns just wouldn't let up. One minute we would think we had the "final" answer only to come to the next minute and feel like we were drowning. We would rock back and forth between rest and doubt. Then one morning about a week before they came back with a decision it just hit me like a ton of bricks. I just prayed and asked God to cause the choices we make to line up with His will. That is all we wanted. I just had immediate peace and knew that is what would happen. I text Brian who, as the head of our home was struggling because he didn't want to make a wrong decision. I told him how precisely I had prayed for us and the whole house situation and we both just breathed a sigh of relief. 6 days later they called us to say we would be closing 2 days later.

At this point not one box was packed but thankfully we had 30 days until we had to be out of our rental. The whirlwind began the day after closing, Brian and I went to clean the house and pull up the vinyl flooring in the laundry room and downstairs bathroom. Considering the house had been vacant since they finished building it wasn't as dirty as we thought it would be. That same weekend Brian and Jared laid tile in both those rooms and by Sunday afternoon the boys and I took our first load of "stuff" out there.

Monday thru Thursday we took load after load and on Friday the movers came to move all the big items. It was the first time we've ever hired movers but it was so worth it.

So, here we are a week later, we're all unpacked and slowly getting things hung up and put where they need to go. It'll be a work in progress for awhile but we've got nothing but time at this point. We have been so overwhelmed by everything. We simply feel undeserving but know how good our God is. We thank Him daily for this amazing opportunity and will cherish every moment we are blessed to live in this house.

For all of you who have been asking for pics below is a slide show of how the house currently looks. It's pretty basic but it will give you an idea of what it looks like. I hope you enjoy.

Scrapbook personalized with Smilebox

A White Christmas and so much more...

Since we had no family coming for Christmas this year we did something we've never done. Packed up at the last minute and headed to the mountains. We found a great deal on a beautiful cabin on the side of a mountain (a little scary too) and decided what better place to be than where there is snow for Christmas and the boys could learn to ski.

Getting up to the cabin proved a little more difficult than originally thought. And although we were warned to have either 4 wheel drive or snow chains the fault is ours alone. You see as were driving through it was clear there was very little snow to even speak of and only saw tiny amounts going up the sides of mountains so we chose snow cables. They were the cheaper of the 2 and therefore the way to go. Not so, because when you are climbing to an altitude of 3500 feet there may not be remnants of snow but by golly there will be remnants of ice and sure enough. As we were driving up the very steep tiny-barely-able-to-fit-one-car lane drive which by the way had a total drop off into the valley below some 500 feet on my side, the car got stuck, wheels began spinning, we started to slide and the cables were useless. By this time I am having quite the anxiety attack since its very dark and I am terrified of heights. Why go to the mountains I hear you ask? The things you do for the ones you love.
At that moment I exited the car in haste and took in a deep breath of mountain air. I also proceeded to walk as fast and as safely as I could up the rest of the drive to see just how far away the house was because I was not getting back in that car. Shortly after that Brian decided he could not get the rest of the way up without chains so we all hopped out of the car and walked all of our stuff up to the house. He made his way back down the mountain returned the cables and spent the extra money for safety and peace of mind.

We headed out Christmas Eve to take the boys skiing. Because of my neck injury I was simply the cheerleader and photographer for this event. The boys were excited, as was I because I had skied as a kid and loved it. I am pleased to say I only had 3 more anxiety attacks that day and one had nothing to do with height.

We were driving through Banner Elk downtown area taking in all the sights. We just happen to look over at a grassy hill area just in time to witness a police officer unloading a couple of rounds on a raccoon. Even though I know raccoons aren't your everyday tame domestic animal it was still a sight to behold and really shocked the boys.
Anyway, I digress. As we are ascending the mountain I feel the wave of panic set in again and wonder how much further are we from the top. It's almost as if I can somehow see us catapulting off the top every time we round another corner. But instead we just climb higher and higher and with every turn its steeper and steeper and I just wanna get off the ride.
But its kind of the same feeling I had when I was giving birth. You can't stop and decide you are done. There is no where to turn around, there is no where to pull over. You just have to keep going until you reach the top. Sensing my panic Brian had the foresight to pull over at the top. Ya I know what you are thinking, its too late now she's already melted down. But, surprisingly I still had it together. (I didn't completely lose it until later) So, we pulled over and took a couple pics.

Isn't that breathtaking? God is truly a magnificent creator. After a brief moment to catch my breath we drove around the corner and there was Beech Mountain.

It took about 30 minutes to get everyones stuff on, rent ski's, and find the bunny slopes and once they did it was only 5 minutes to decide they all needed to take the class.

Fast forward an hour and they are done being bunnies and ready to rock the real slopes. Its so amazing to watch how fast kids pick stuff up. Before I knew it, all of them were coming down that second mountain so fast I could hardly catch a picture or video. They had a blast. Here are a few more pics.

Leaving was hard. First of all they were all having a such a good time they didn't want it to be over and second because 4:30 was the end for everyone. They were closing so it was a race to hurry up and wait to turn in all your ski equipment.

The drive back down the mountain was pretty uneventful except for me crying in the back seat and my 11 year old attempting to comfort me. Seriously, my boys are never going to want me to go anywhere with them again.

Christmas day was beautiful. Since it had been snowing all night the trees glistened and children listened...just kidding. Honestly though it was beautiful.

After we ate pancakes, opened presents and stuffed ourselves with ham and everything else for Christmas lunch we suited up and went for a walk. Since there was a sled the boys had a blast walking from hill to hill seeing who could go down the fastest. It got funny when one had ice under the snow and Jared didn't realize it. He wasn't quite so eager the next time.

The plan was to go skiing the day after Christmas but by the time we got up there was already 8 inches of freshly fallen snow on the ground and it was still snowing. The forecast said a blizzard was coming and wasn't expected to let up until 6 the following day. So we decided to cut our losses and leave a day early.

However, I can't finish this post without boasting about my husbands amazing skills. He had to back down the drive in over 10 inches of snow and even when the car began to slide he never lost his cool (of course I'm a different story). Instead of sliding off the side, we slid into the side of the mountain. Finally, we were able to turn around and I truly thank God for His angels guiding us safely down and through the valley to the main road.

Moral of the story: Rachel stays at the bottom of the mountain.

All in all a beautiful and somewhat adventurous Christmas.

I have so much to be thankful for and am!!

Vacation Slide Show

In July, Jackson, Jayden and I took a road trip. We went to St. Louis where my Aunt Holly and Grandfather (mom's side) live. My Aunt Mary joined us there and we had a good time visiting the Arch, Watching Under the Sea at the Imax and Science Center and taking in the Art Museum. Papa lives on a lake so he took us on his little pontoon boat and each of the boys took a turn steering.
From there we headed to Tulsa, OK where we spent some amazing and much needed time with family and friends we've known since the boys were born.
And last but certainly not least we ended in Kansas City visiting my good friend Kishan and her family.
We were gone 3 weeks and it was an awesome time.
Although, there is nothing like coming home. Life is good!