In the beginning when we first felt called to adopt it was, is this really God's will? How could not be God's will? How will we afford it? How hard will it be? How long is it gonna take?
Then everything was on hold my thoughts moved to, maybe this isn't what we are supposed to do. Maybe we heard God wrong. We have so much debt there is no way we can ever do this. I guess the dream is dead.
Three more years passed coupled with lots of moving, uncertainty and certainly hundreds more questions. Then the thoughts went like this. Are we too old for this? My heart yearns for a little girl I've never even met, how is that possible? I know we are supposed to do this, how are we ever going to afford it.
Then one day, we just knew it was time to start so we jumped in with both feet.
Here we are 8 months in and today we just got home from Raleigh after we had our biometrics appointment.
Here are some of the thoughts I have these days, I wonder how many more times I'll clean this bathroom before I bring Grace home.
What are going to be the issues we deal with? I am gonna love having a little girl. I am gonna hate having a little girl. What if I can't do it? Why does everyone else make this adoption process look so easy?
And finally when I come to the end of myself I return to His feet, sigh real big and say Thank you Jesus I can rest in you because you have all this in the palm of your hands.
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11
The King James version says I know the THOUGHTS I think towards you...
What a precious thing. We may have thousands of thoughts, some good, some not so good but all of His thoughts are for good and not evil.
His plans aren't just for this little girl waiting in China somewhere for her forever family. They are also for the forever family who have moments when they cry in frustration because the process can be so long. I am so thankful for the God I serve who loves me despite all my crazy thoughts and who has seen the end already and is carrying us through all of it.