Monday, May 07, 2012

Confidence in WHAT?!

This morning was the second time I've spoken to the lady in charge of finding our referral. Her name is Mary.
She is wonderful. After only 1 minute on the phone with her the first time I felt like I'd known her for years. She is very no-nonsense and her passion is crystal clear. She loves finding these kids their forever families.
After today's discussion I went about my normal Monday routine quietly thinking and breathing a few prayers here and there. You see, our dossier is in China which means she is actively seeking a referral for us. I can't even believe I can utter those words. The excitement that stirs within me isn't even able to be articulated.
So, as I was doing I very quietly heard in my spirit "wait with confident expectation." WOW! Did I make that up in my humanness? Don't over analyze Rach!
Confident-its an adjective meaning to feel or show confidence in oneself or to feel or show confidence in something. (I know you know what it means)
Some synonyms are sure, certain, assured, secure, positive, reliant, convinced, safe.
Here's the truth. In general I have always struggled with self-confidence. If you had asked me 15 years ago could I ever see myself doing what we're are doing with this adoption I would have laughed at you!
But isn't that the beauty of this whole thing. This isn't about me. This adoption isn't about my having self confidence or not. Its about believing in the ONE who keeps me safe, secure and certain. Its about knowing that He is reliable when everything in the world is not. Its being convinced that this journey, at the end of the day will bring glory to His name and we can be assured that whoever our little girl is, He already knows and we can have CONFIDENCE in that!!!!

Psalm 27:14
Wait for the Lord,
let your heart be strong and take courage.
Wait for the LORD!

Romans 5:1-3

Therefore, since we have been made right in God’s sight by faith, we have peace with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us. Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of undeserved privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God’s glory.
We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance.

2 Corinthians 3:3-5
Clearly, you are a letter from Christ showing the result of our ministry among you. This “letter” is written not with pen and ink, but with the Spirit of the living God. It is carved not on tablets of stone, but on human hearts.
We are confident of all this because of our great trust in God through Christ. It is not that we think we are qualified to do anything on our own. Our qualification comes from God.