Jared's Graduation~2011

Jayden, Me, Jared, my dad Richard, Brian and Jackson
Helping Jared get ready.
Jared with several of his friends.
Our family.
Jared and his best friend Tiana.

I still shake my head in disbelief that I have a child who's graduated. I still don't get that he'll be 18 in 2 weeks and I certainly am not ready for him to face the big bad world without me to protect him. But the reality is this-this time was always coming from the day I gave birth to him.

Jared may not have been born under the greatest of circumstances but he couldn't have been born into a more loving environment. I was only 20 years old and single. His "father" had really never been in the picture from the time I found out I was pregnant and I realized quickly I was on my own. Although my parents stepped in and picked up the slack there is nothing quite like being a couple in a situation like that.

I wasn't serving the Lord during that time of my life however towards the end of my pregnancy I began reading my bible a little bit starting with Genesis. Playing the name game alone isn't very much fun but my mom loved it and we tossed around all kinds of names for him like Aaron, James, Shelby, (I didn't know he was a boy), John, but then one evening as I sat reading my bible the name Jared just popped out at me and I knew that was what I was supposed to name him. In the bible, Jared was Enoch's father and Enoch was one who walked so closely with God and never tasted death. He simply wasn't there anymore. I loved that.

As long as I live I'll never forget his birthday. I went into labor at 3 in the afternoon. Nothing much really, more uncomfortable than anything else and when they admitted me at 6pm there was still not much going on and I started to think they might send me home. I remember being all alone hoping my mom would hurry up and get there and without warning I went into full blown labor with contractions coming every couple of minutes and they started to take me upstairs. I was terrified because I was by myself.
But then right as they were wheeling me into the elevator my mom was there.

It wasn't easy, not that its supposed to be but here's something funny. At about 10pm right in the thick of it my mom says "You know I'm not superstitious but it is Friday the 13th, maybe you could wait a couple of hours."
I was like "Are you kidding me? I don't care what the date is, he needs to get here!!"
So, fast forward 2 hours and she actually turns to me and says "OK, its 12:01, anytime you're ready to have that kid."
Of course at the time it was too intense to fully appreciate just how funny that was but shortly after and all these years later I still laugh about it.

There he was laying in his little bassinet and all I could do was look. All I could do was wonder how on earth could I possibly love someone so much I had just met. I was full to over flowing. It took my breath away.

And less than 2 years later God, in His amazingness provided a daddy for Jared and a husband for me. I never could have imagined in all I had done, in all the terrible ways I had lived that I would be worthy of such a precious gift. Thank God its never something we have to earn. I didn't deserve it but He gave it to me anyway. Brian was immediately wonderful with Jared, as if he had been there from the beginning. The first time I heard Jared call Brian "daddy" I thought my heart would explode. To this day I am always overcome with emotion as I recall how God had His hand in it all even though I couldn't have been farther from Him.
This is why I am such an advocate for being a praying parent. I know I was covered as a result of my mom's obedience to pray for her children.

It hasn't always been like that since then. There have been good times and bad times. But they are always overcome because we love like a family is supposed to love. Unconditionally.

The emotion surrounding these last few weeks has been, at times overwhelming as its forced me to recall all we've been through since Jared was born. I've had moments where I simply couldn't breathe when I think how this chapter is ending and a new one is beginning and in no time at all he won't even be living in my house. I won't be there to protect him when he gets hurt. But I also realized all this time I've been preparing him for exactly this. That has been my role these past 18 years. It doesn't mean I don't get to parent him anymore, it just means I might be doing it a little more silently.

It's Jared's time and I have to let go. It's time for him to fly away on his own and I have to take comfort knowing I did the best I could and with God's grace and mercy he will be OK.

Victory at Jimmy Johns

Our kid did it!! He landed himself a job at this place.
It was cool the way it happened too. Brian asked me to take him by there at 2 yesterday because thats when the manager was going to be there. Jared had himself convinced he would walk in and walk out in 2 seconds since that is what had been happening at other places up to this point. But he walked in and 1 minute later he text me to say the manager was about to sit and chat with him. As a mom I felt disappointed because he could have been dressed better but thats just the type-A in me. Anyway, an hour later he came out smiling and said things went really well and he felt he'd connected with both managers. They told Jared to call them back if he hadn't heard anything by next Tuesday. I felt dejected by this but he vowed when he got home to continue to pursue other positions until something clicked.
We had barely walked in the door when the phone rang and Jared was shouting my name like a giddy school girl. "I GOT THE JOB!!!!"
He starts today as the mom in me groans, we've hit another milestone which makes us that much closer to saying good-bye and him starting his own life independent of us.
Well, after he pays all the medical bills. Thank God for stupid decisions that keep my kid close for a little longer. :0)

The Wall will Always Win!!!

Jared is desperately trying to find a job. The word desperate might not be part of that last sentence if it wasn't for this:


This all started May 29th 2010. After making an incorrect assumption (you know what they say when you assume right?) he got mad and punched the side of our house. Its half brick, half siding. He hit the siding. After receiving the call from my hubby I raced home and angrily ordered him in the car without opening the door for him I might add. Wincing in pain and trying to balance a bag of frozen peas on his hand he got in the car and I sped to the hospital. Not because it was really that big of an emergency but because I was so angry. Clearly, I was not resting in God but instead allowing myself to be controlled by the situation.

Once there we quickly learned it was indeed fractured and given a referral to see Ortho in a week. Being the impatient mom that I am I waited until Monday and called for an appointment. They got us in the next day. I can tell you right now, I was not prepared for what happened next. The doc explained he would need 3 pins to put Jared's hand back together because he had not only broken it in 3 places but had also dislocated it. Surgery was scheduled for the next day.

It went off without a hitch and a week later we were back to have the pins looked at and to have a hard cast put on.





Ok, so this is great. 4 weeks in a cast, the pins will come out then 2 more weeks in another cast and life will return to normal.

Oh, how wrong I was. The pins came out alright and infection set in.
We were at the lake with some friends and July 5th Jared was still complaining of some pain in his hand. We really didn't think anything of it, just that it was all part of the healing process. Then he said well I have this red streak running up my arm and I'm no doctor but even I know that is a sign of blood poisoning. We took him to the ER and they hooked him up to an IV antibiotic and sent us on our way.
The next day Brian and Jared had to drive 2 hours from the lake house to his Ortho Doc and then spent the rest of the day fighting with the insurance company and waiting to get an MRI. The doc told us that he needed the MRI to make sure the infection hadn't spread to his bones. When Brian called and told me that we all got together and prayed for God to do His thing. When they got back to us at the lake house Brian said they would call us with the results in the morning and if there was infection immediate surgery would be needed. I believed for nothing less than God's best which in my opinion was no infection and I had no doubt that was what we would hear when they called.
When they called and said to come in as soon as you can because we need to prep him for surgery my heart sank. I am proud to say I didn't lose it though. Although I had no idea it was about to get even worse.

During surgery prep the next morning they were explaining what the procedure would involve. They had found infection on both the fourth and fifth bones and literally would be going in to scrub those bones. We immediately began texting everyone we knew to pray. I was expectant that once he got in there it wouldn't be as bad as they originally thought. God is amazing. 30 minutes later they were done and said once they got in there they only saw infection on the fifth finger and had sent the biopsy off to microbiology. He explained it like this: the faster it grows the worse bug it is. Less than 24 hours later it had grown into a pretty nasty staph infection which now meant infectious disease had to be brought in. My head was spinning. All we wanted to do was go home. But that wasn't going to happen anytime soon. You see now that they knew what strain it was they determined it had to be treated with IV antibiotics. Which meant we had to wait until they got a pic/mid line in him and, since it was Friday there was no one to come home with us and show us how to administer all that we had to wait until Monday. UGH!!!

So, Monday came and went as did all the home health visits followed by trips to physical therapy and the infectious disease doc and here we are today. Stitches are all out and he is left with 2 really nasty looking scars and thousands in medical bills (which by the way we are making him pay hence the desperation for a job) which will forever remind him when you punch a wall the wall always wins.

From this to this

Jared has had this same haircut for a while and as his parent I try not to sweat the small stuff. Hair is a small stuff.


Since his hand is completely healed which of course I neglected to post about on here he has been feverishly job hunting since those medical bills are pouring in. Yesterday he landed his first interview with a local grocery chain. He was so excited about it he decided since first impressions matter he would cut his hair. I am so proud of him. Its still a little longer than I thought it would be but still a huge improvement. Tomorrow is the interview, so here's hoping the change pays off.