Thursday, June 20, 2013

"You're still here?"

Three days ago at about this time we were uniting with our daughter. And up until this morning I would imagine a bubble above her head with this exact sentiment every time she woke up in the morning or from her nap. She would look at us, close her eyes for a couple more minutes and repeat. Scowling was common practice and oh my gosh, if looks could kill, well you know the rest. I can't blame her for any of it. I can't even imagine all that is going on inside her little head. Until last Sunday she had rarely left her group home since she was abandoned there and now here she is, all these new sights, sounds and smells. Surrounded by tons of strange faces not to mention the two white people she is stuck with. She has no clue what we are saying and has no idea if this is a permanent situation. I can't even imagine for one second all she is going through. She has no idea how wanted she is. How she has been prayed for and loved for over 6 years. She doesn't realize there are tons of people back home who haven't even met her yet who already love her so much. She has no idea that she is home, that she will never be left again. Anyway, I rambled on about all of that to say we've already turned a corner. 
This morning baby girl woke up, looked at daddy and just laid there calmly. She played with her baby doll while I made her bottle. Then when I picked her up, no tears or anything. It was so nice. From there, things just got better and better. So far, she hasn't let us put her down and she won't even leave the security of the bed. She will just sit there and play with her stackable cups, pill bottles and spoon for hours. Today she started moving around the bed more and more and on a walk in the lobby she walked  and she loved it. But the best of the best came earlier today when not only did she smile but laughed and laughed out loud. And she didn't just smile once but over and over and over. My heart just melted and I am more in love now than I was before. 

So, besides all of that here is what we have learned about our girl. 
She loves fruit, eggs, ham, toast, goldfish, and any other carb for that matter. She likes milanos. But then again, who doesn't?
She is still not crazy about bath time or teeth brushing but we will work on that more at home with fun bubbles and fun bath toys. 
She loves being in the carrier which is great for bonding. Of course she loves to held in general which I am totally OK with. 
Diaper changes are no longer traumatizing for her which is nice. 
It seems things are better with her ears, she is no longer pulling on them. Hopefully flying tomorrow will not be a problem. I'm a little nervous. 
Besides the smiling/giggling today she also started quietly babbling to herself. 
She loves her daddy. 
She is very hot natured and when she sleeps on Brian, will push her head into his neck and her head will literally drip with sweat while she sleeps. 
She sucks on the top of her pj shirt when she is sleeping. It is so cute. 
For security right now she has to have a bottle of pills and spoon in one hand and her little yellow stackable cup in her other hand at ALL times. Even when she is eating. 
And speaking of eating, she will not feed herself or hold her own bottle. I know she can, b/c the last two updates said so but she won't. I don't care though. Helps with bonding. 
She is sooooooo shy. She can be laughing it up with us one minute and then Lisa (our agency rep) walks in and thats the end of that. She will barely even look up. Its crazy to me b/c we are both so outgoing. I know this can change but she's been like this since birth so its unlikely. 
During a crying spell she is easily consoled by either Brian or me. 
And finally, she is just completely the most precious thing and I am so thankful God chose me to be her momma. 
I know I say this a lot but I am more thankful than I can express for all the prayer and support. We have felt all of it since we have been here. We have had so much joy during this time and despite how hard this has been we wouldn't change a thing. 

Today we visited the Pagoda. It was originally built in the early 800's  but was re-built for the final time in 1989. Today it about 95 degrees with 90% humidity. This building has limited air conditioning. It was pretty brutal. 
Brian took these next shots from the very top floor. 

And finally, one of our girl. Brian captured this.  Pretty amazing!