Tuesday, June 26, 2007

The Way I Remember Her...

Today marks the 4th anniversary of my mother's home going. The days and weeks leading up to this one day can, at times be very difficult, very emotional. For example Mother's Day is the hardest day of the year for me of all the things we celebrate. So many people have made the comment "but your a mom" yes I am a mother, however I had a mom long before I was one. If you had a mom like I had a mom you would understand. Fortunately for me we have had out of town guests for the last 2 weeks which has afforded me the luxury of not being overly consumed by it. I am not a depressing person by nature but for me it is a constant healing to remember her last days and all of her life and the way she lived it. Most who visit here know or rather knew my mother. Here are just a few of the ways I remember her...

Her smile- it always made her whole face light up.

Her laugh- it was infectious and you couldn't keep but laughing with her when you heard it.
Her love for God- it was overwhelming to me how much she loved her God.
Her insatiable appetite for His word- I don't remember a day ever in my life when I didn't see my mother begin her day immersed in the Word.
Her voice- she sang with passion, she sang with victory, she sang beautifully and she sang for Him.
Her passion for leading people to Jesus- I have never in my life seen someone who chased souls for the Kingdom the way she did.
Her love for her husband- my parents had their problems just like we all do but she loved him without condition. When I recollect through the years all they went through I am blown away by her continued love for my dad. Thankfully, he too is a Christ Follower and since her death serves as a marriage counselor at their church and once again feels purpose.
Her love for her kids- my mother wasn't an affectionate person by nature nor was she very verbal about things. However, I knew my mother loved us girls. As I became an adult and was having babies of my own I knew it even more. She was a strong presence for me as I began raising my boys and one of the hardest things for me since her death is not having her to turn to.
Her un-ending faith and strength- though out her life she endured many hardships, the last of which was the cancer which took her life and I never saw her faith weaken. Now, I did see her lose some strength from time to time. Especially when the doctor gave bad report after bad report. But a few hours immersed in His word and she came back out of her corner fighting once again.
Her love of life and not material things- my mother always thought and lived eternally. She knew none of the things in this world mattered. I guess you could say she was kingdom minded.

I miss my mother so much sometimes I can't breathe but this one thing I know, I will see her again and I encourage all of you who still have a mom...treasure her always. Because there is always someone out there like me who would give anything for just 5 more minutes.


Bekah said...

Rachel, this post made me bawl. I hurt for you as you ache to have your mom here. I have had to say the painful goodbye to my amazing dad and sweet sister and I ache for the day that we will be reunited in heaven. Praying for strength for you during difficult days.

One Man's Struggle To Take It Easy said...

Awe baby that was awesome! I love you and am so thankful for your Mom. She touched so many lives and still continues to live on, in you, me and all the rest of those who love her. I know words and works can't bring her back, but I know you Mom and I know she is so proud of you!

Anonymous said...

What a great post. You spoke so eloquently about her. And the great thing is, you will see her again. And she does live in you and your kids.
Also, I didnt know she passed on my anniversary. Now I'll always know when she got to see Jesus. Stephanie

Anonymous said...

I miss your mom also. I think of her often. At the age we are approaching and with the passing of friends. we have begun to talk about what if. I always used to say please take my bones back to Alabama, but if for unfor seen reason it would be before I am elderly, put me near my friend.

I think of you often also and ask your dad about you alot. Now I can keep up with you.