Kisses from Katie.mp4

There just aren't words to say how much this moves me.

Enjoy.

The other Martin Luther King Jr. holiday: how it's observed

The other Martin Luther King Jr. holiday: how it's observed

Updates ROCK!

USCIS approval came Monday.

Papers sent to be certified Tuesday.

Next step is authentication.

The rest of the dossier DONE!

We are getting closer.

Keep praying. Thanks.

Creating Christmas memories is my favorite.

We had such an incredible Christmas.

And despite the fact we had no extended family to share it with we were so blessed to spend it with others who treat us like family. God never ceases to amaze me.

It began Christmas Eve morning when we shared breakfast with our friends, the Teagues.

Once home I baked a pecan pie and chocolate chip pumpkin bread. At 5 we attended service at church. From there we went to eat at Cheddars with our best friends, the Daigles and our adopted brother Terrence.

The evening only got better when we returned to the Daigles for a gift exchange and Kerri's home made cheese cake. Sooooo good. We had such a great time.

Christmas morning, everyone woke up to the smell of fresh coffee and bacon and eggs on the griddle.

We had a blast watching the kids open their gifts and even Brian and I got spoiled. And even though we didn't get our dossier finished or even USCIS approval as a gift we were still unbelievably thankful. We are praying early in the New Year will bring both those things.

Everything with our meal was perfect and we were even joined by Jared's girlfriend and her brother.

We spent the rest of the day lazing around enjoying our gifts, watching sports and movies and just enjoying our time together.

I cannot begin to tell you just how much we have enjoyed this holiday season. One more week before total reality sets in. I plan on being really productive this week and also enjoying my family. Especially since Brian will be off starting Wednesday through Monday. He deserves the break.

I pray you all had an amazing Christmas also. Happy New Year. May God bless you!!!

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Why I celebrate Christmas!!

A baby came, to die.

He redeemed us from our old life and because of His salvation and grace we walk in new life.

He is our Savior, our Healer and our ALL in ALL.

And, this is why we celebrate Christmas.

For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace.

Of the increase of his government and peace there shall be no end, upon the throne of David, and upon his kingdom, to order it, and to establish it with judgment and with justice from henceforth even for ever. The zeal of the LORD of hosts will perform this.

Isaiah 9:6-7

Growing Deep Roots: My first giveaway...and I am excited!!

Growing Deep Roots: My first giveaway...and I am excited!!: Let me introduce you to Project 320.    This is the third year for Project 320.  Six women have gotten together and decided that they can do...

Not the GUMDROP buttons!!

For the first time this Christmas I decided it would be fun to build gingerbread houses.

It definitely looked easier than it was. But thankfully, since the boys are almost all teenagers they didn't need me to help them. Because trust me, I couldn't have!

So, in the end we had 5 mini houses. They all looked like they needed some help but we had a blast doing it and there was lots of laughing and a nice sugar high.

Just click play and enjoy!

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1 Corinthians 13 Christmas

I saw this on my friend Tracy's blog and had to post it also. Thanks girl!

1 Corinthians 13 Christmas

If I decorate my house perfectly with plaid bows, strands of twinkling lights and shiny balls, but do not show love to my family, I’m just another decorator.

If I slave away in the kitchen, baking dozens of Christmas cookies, preparing gourmet meals and arranging a beautifully adorned table at mealtime, but do not show love to my family, I’m just another cook.

If I work at the soup kitchen, carol in the nursing home and give all that I have to charity, but do not show love to my family, it profits me nothing.

If I trim the spruce with shimmering angels and crocheted snowflakes, attend a myriad of holiday parties and sing in the choir’s cantata but do not focus on Christ, I have missed the point.

Love stops the cooking to hug the child.

Love sets aside the decorating to kiss the husband.

Love is kind, though harried and tired.

Love doesn’t envy another’s home that has coordinated Christmas china and table linens.

Love doesn’t yell at the kids to get out of the way, but is thankful they are there to be in the way.

Love doesn’t give only to those who are able to give in return but rejoices in giving to those who can’t.

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. Video games will break, pearl necklaces will be lost, golf clubs will rust, but giving the gift of love will endure.

Author Unknown

National Adoption Month.

November is National Adoption Month which I know is so close to the holidays but there is so much you can do for so little.

It just takes a little sacrifice.

The agency we are using, Children's Hope International has a catalog available online which gives lots of inexpensive ideas to help an orphan.

Please take a moment to click on the link and look through the online catalog and consider helping some orphans in need or at least take some time to look through the website and pray for these kids.

Thanks. Happy Thanksgiving.

Thoughts

Since being on this journey called adoption there have been more thoughts than normal running around in my head.

In the beginning when we first felt called to adopt it was, is this really God's will? How could not be God's will? How will we afford it? How hard will it be? How long is it gonna take?

Then everything was on hold my thoughts moved to, maybe this isn't what we are supposed to do. Maybe we heard God wrong. We have so much debt there is no way we can ever do this. I guess the dream is dead.

Three more years passed coupled with lots of moving, uncertainty and certainly hundreds more questions. Then the thoughts went like this. Are we too old for this? My heart yearns for a little girl I've never even met, how is that possible? I know we are supposed to do this, how are we ever going to afford it.

Then one day, we just knew it was time to start so we jumped in with both feet.

Here we are 8 months in and today we just got home from Raleigh after we had our biometrics appointment.

Here are some of the thoughts I have these days, I wonder how many more times I'll clean this bathroom before I bring Grace home.

What are going to be the issues we deal with? I am gonna love having a little girl. I am gonna hate having a little girl. What if I can't do it? Why does everyone else make this adoption process look so easy?

And finally when I come to the end of myself I return to His feet, sigh real big and say Thank you Jesus I can rest in you because you have all this in the palm of your hands.

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

The King James version says I know the THOUGHTS I think towards you...

What a precious thing. We may have thousands of thoughts, some good, some not so good but all of His thoughts are for good and not evil.

His plans aren't just for this little girl waiting in China somewhere for her forever family. They are also for the forever family who have moments when they cry in frustration because the process can be so long. I am so thankful for the God I serve who loves me despite all my crazy thoughts and who has seen the end already and is carrying us through all of it.

A Make Over!

Everything and everyone I think, needs a make over from time to time.

This blog was no exception.

So, a few weeks ago I contacted the creative forces that be and asked for a remodel and once again she has delivered.

Its just in time too.

We have entered a new phase of this journey.

We feel closer than ever and its scary as it is exciting.

Thursday we spent more than 2 hours looking through the database of girls alone who are waiting for forever families. There were over 456 ranging in age from 0-18. There were only about 80 in our age range which is 2-3, however just going through these files was the most heart wrenching thing we have ever done.

How do you look past the faces, disabled or not and not long to scoop them up and just love them? It was so hard. Some of them have such severe disabilities you wonder if they will be stuck there forever. I literally felt physically sick.

But in the end we had to look at the special needs we felt capable of handling and we chose 6 girls to look at in more depth.

So now what you might ask? Well, we take these files to a pediatrician and ask every question we can think of that pertains to their needs.

And then, we make a choice. And the truth is, she may not be one of these 6. And guess what? We're OK with that. We know God already has our daughter in the palm of His hand and His timing will the THE timing so we will rest as we go through these files. Its a beautiful thing.

As for paperwork, we are working on the dossier, have our biometrics appointment in November and my passport is going to arrive hopefully in the next 2 weeks or so.

Since these past 3 weeks have been filled with wedding stuff (I was matron of honor) its nice to have all my focus back where I feel it belongs.

Once again, thank you for riding this wave with us and please pray specifically for God's will as we go through these files.

Blessings.

Homestudy APPROVED!!!!

Need I say more?

Next steps?

USCIS Application to be submitted and all the dossier work begins.

Prayer is appreciated for these next steps to go a little more smoothly than the homestudy did.

Thanks!!!

STAND!!

EPHESIANS 6:10-17

10 A final word: Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. ¹¹ Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. ¹² For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.

¹³ Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm. ¹⁴ Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness. ¹⁵ For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared. ¹⁶ In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil. ¹⁷ Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

There are times in life when you feel like you have been knocked down.

There is no more wind in your sails or breath in your lungs.

In the moment it feels sad and hopeless.

There is an overwhelming sense of failure and defeat.

All of life seems to be closing in or crashing down around you.

This is when you STAND.

You stand firm knowing that God is there in your midst and sees all the tears you cry.

You stand firm knowing that God has not left you now and will not leave you in the future.

You stand firm knowing that He has set your feet on a rock. And that rock is HIM.

You stand firm knowing that whatever trial or test you are going through, if you let Him, His glory will be revealed.

You stand firm knowing that the peace which passes all understanding will walk with you through this and will never fail you.

You stand firm knowing He loves you, gave His life for you and now intercedes for you as He sits at the right hand of the Father.

This is how to stand and this is how I am standing today!

Thank you Jesus.

Psalm 59:9-11

You are my strength; I wait for you to rescue me,
for you, O God, are my fortress.
¹⁰ In his unfailing love, my God will stand with me.
He will let me look down in triumph on all my enemies.

¹¹ Don’t kill them, for my people soon forget such lessons;
stagger them with your power, and bring them to their knees,
O Lord our shield.

Psalm 119:89-90

⁸⁹ Your eternal word, O Lord,
stands firm in heaven.
⁹⁰ Your faithfulness extends to every generation,
as enduring as the earth you created.

This Hurricane...called Life

Irene decided to pay us all a visit this past weekend and I have to say, after living in Oklahoma for 12 years I prefer tornado's. Admittedly, tornados are much less predictable than hurricanes but in my experience at least they are much shorter lived.

The rain started here where we live at about 5pm Friday evening and didn't stop until Saturday around 10pm. The wind which was up to at least 60 miles per hour began at about 3am or at least thats when Brian and I awoke to some major dripping. We began laying as many towels as we could along our front windows to try and absorb some of the water.

By 6:45am we quickly learned it was a futile attempt. Still we worked hard to contain the water. We placed buckets and cups in as many strategic places as possible in order to keep the floor from getting more wet. We dried towels in the dryer then replaced the soaked ones but that only lasted until 9am when the power went out. After that, it went downhill fast.

We quickly learned Jayden's doors in his room were no match for the wind and rain and about 1/4 of his room flooded. Our room also was in big trouble and 1/2 of it flooded spreading into our bathroom. We moved beds to the middle of said rooms and waited it out.

The only time I felt myself losing it was when my bedroom ceiling began to leak which I can only attribute to all the missing shingles.

Once our power went out we had no way of knowing how the storm was moving or how much longer we would have to put up with it but luckily I have a grandmother in OK who has Fox News on constantly so I would get updates as often as my phone would allow them through. Thank you Grammy.

We played games, I learned poker, we read, took naps and tried to ignore the constant pouring in of water in 3 of our rooms.

Our front door got so wet it no longer opens and closes without a 200lb weight of force.

Our laminate flooring has all buckled and both carpets are saturated and rooms a wreck!

Thankfully Sunday our friends, who had their power restored loaned us their generator and dehumidifier to at least begin the drying process.

We became painfully aware of just how much this was all going to cost and how adoption money would have to be dipped into but you know what...?

We are alive, we are safe and our house is basically still in tact. We are able bodied people with the ability and means to take care of the mess and its all just "stuff" anyway. I am thankful beyond words for all the generosity of others especially the hot meal last night from David and Anna.

So, last night we are sitting in our living room and its 89 degrees, Brian and I are passing the time watching a movie on the laptop and suddenly a flicker. Was it?? Yes it was!!!! Lights, camera ACTION!!! We had power. And it was a beautiful thing. We were smiling and laughing and hugging each other. It was like a scene from a movie. We were all so thankful.

Today begins more of the clean up and hopefully good news from the insurance company. I hope and pray we never have to go through another hurricane but I am thankful for the experience. It has once again reminded me just how good we have it and how we are surrounded by an amazing community of people who love us!

Please continue to pray with us for the rest of the people hit by this hurricane who continue to be without power and who have sustained worse damage than us. Thanks!

Here are some pics of our little adventure and some I took on our way to church yesterday.

Be blessed, I am!

This photo album made with Smilebox

He is GOOD!!!!

I absolutely love this song and its one I sing to remind myself how good my God is.

I told someone this morning that we must be on the right path with this adoption because we have been met with so much resistance. Yet again there is a small delay but my God is LARGE and in charge and HIS timing is THE timing.

Despite the set backs I get excited as I allow myself to just rest. To be still. To know He is in control and to pray for His will, not my own.

Thank you Jesus for being so good to us and for your goodness in this whole situation.

Jared's Graduation~2011

Jayden, Me, Jared, my dad Richard, Brian and Jackson
Helping Jared get ready.
Jared with several of his friends.
Our family.
Jared and his best friend Tiana.

I still shake my head in disbelief that I have a child who's graduated. I still don't get that he'll be 18 in 2 weeks and I certainly am not ready for him to face the big bad world without me to protect him. But the reality is this-this time was always coming from the day I gave birth to him.

Jared may not have been born under the greatest of circumstances but he couldn't have been born into a more loving environment. I was only 20 years old and single. His "father" had really never been in the picture from the time I found out I was pregnant and I realized quickly I was on my own. Although my parents stepped in and picked up the slack there is nothing quite like being a couple in a situation like that.

I wasn't serving the Lord during that time of my life however towards the end of my pregnancy I began reading my bible a little bit starting with Genesis. Playing the name game alone isn't very much fun but my mom loved it and we tossed around all kinds of names for him like Aaron, James, Shelby, (I didn't know he was a boy), John, but then one evening as I sat reading my bible the name Jared just popped out at me and I knew that was what I was supposed to name him. In the bible, Jared was Enoch's father and Enoch was one who walked so closely with God and never tasted death. He simply wasn't there anymore. I loved that.

As long as I live I'll never forget his birthday. I went into labor at 3 in the afternoon. Nothing much really, more uncomfortable than anything else and when they admitted me at 6pm there was still not much going on and I started to think they might send me home. I remember being all alone hoping my mom would hurry up and get there and without warning I went into full blown labor with contractions coming every couple of minutes and they started to take me upstairs. I was terrified because I was by myself.
But then right as they were wheeling me into the elevator my mom was there.

It wasn't easy, not that its supposed to be but here's something funny. At about 10pm right in the thick of it my mom says "You know I'm not superstitious but it is Friday the 13th, maybe you could wait a couple of hours."
I was like "Are you kidding me? I don't care what the date is, he needs to get here!!"
So, fast forward 2 hours and she actually turns to me and says "OK, its 12:01, anytime you're ready to have that kid."
Of course at the time it was too intense to fully appreciate just how funny that was but shortly after and all these years later I still laugh about it.

There he was laying in his little bassinet and all I could do was look. All I could do was wonder how on earth could I possibly love someone so much I had just met. I was full to over flowing. It took my breath away.

And less than 2 years later God, in His amazingness provided a daddy for Jared and a husband for me. I never could have imagined in all I had done, in all the terrible ways I had lived that I would be worthy of such a precious gift. Thank God its never something we have to earn. I didn't deserve it but He gave it to me anyway. Brian was immediately wonderful with Jared, as if he had been there from the beginning. The first time I heard Jared call Brian "daddy" I thought my heart would explode. To this day I am always overcome with emotion as I recall how God had His hand in it all even though I couldn't have been farther from Him.
This is why I am such an advocate for being a praying parent. I know I was covered as a result of my mom's obedience to pray for her children.

It hasn't always been like that since then. There have been good times and bad times. But they are always overcome because we love like a family is supposed to love. Unconditionally.

The emotion surrounding these last few weeks has been, at times overwhelming as its forced me to recall all we've been through since Jared was born. I've had moments where I simply couldn't breathe when I think how this chapter is ending and a new one is beginning and in no time at all he won't even be living in my house. I won't be there to protect him when he gets hurt. But I also realized all this time I've been preparing him for exactly this. That has been my role these past 18 years. It doesn't mean I don't get to parent him anymore, it just means I might be doing it a little more silently.

It's Jared's time and I have to let go. It's time for him to fly away on his own and I have to take comfort knowing I did the best I could and with God's grace and mercy he will be OK.

Finding my Voice

Today is the anniversary of my mothers death.
It's not as negative as in years past, in fact I have found I am finally able to talk about her without falling apart.

Progress, I like it.

This past mothers day was also different than all the ones since she died. For the first time I found myself able to be celebrated instead of just putting on a happy face for the kids all the while I'm silently grieving.

When we sat together after her death discussing her memorial service we were all somewhat in a daze. It seems funny to me even now, I mean here we are grieving beyond belief and now we have to make all kinds of decisions.

When we reached the part about the music it was easy. Mom had sung in all church choirs where we had attended since before I was born so it was only natural to have a full choir.

From out of nowhere I said I wanted to sing. One of her favorite songs written by her then choir director Orlando Juarez was Face to Face. To those of you who know me now this is no big thing. Because thats what I do, SING!

But 8 years ago, that was something I'd given very little thought to. Even though I had started singing at age 5 and been in every church choir until the age of 12 I hadn't used my talent since then.

I had somehow bought into the thought pattern that all my years running from the things of God had robbed me of the voice God had given me.

However, several months before something had been stirring in me and I'd asked mom to start giving me some tips on how to start singing again.

But with her illness progressing it just didn't seem to be a priority.

So when I spoke up regarding singing at her service it was as if someone else was saying it. I knew which song and I knew I wanted my mom's sister, Holly to sing with me. So I never really gave it a second thought.

Holly and I barely practiced the song but when the time came there was no fear or anxiety at all. As we went up to sing I closed my eyes, lifted my hands and sang the song from my heart and to my mom. It was the most beautiful moment since she had died.

Since that time I've truly found my voice. I've given my gift back to God and gotten involved where I've felt I've been called to serve.

Loss is never an easy thing to go through but God's promises are always true. And what the enemy meant for evil God turned around for my good and His glory.

Face to Face

Face to face with you in your love and mercy

Sheltered by your glory As I stand face to face with you

Amazing grace surrounds me Songs of praise stir within me

I lift my hands in praise Sin no longer holds me

Captured by your grace I stand before you holy

Thankful for your love oh the joy of sweet communion

There will always be a song of praise within my heart

as I stand Face to Face.

Where we are and how we are...This ones for you Mollie.

I had a friend ask me recently where we are in our process and how we are doing. Thanks to Mollie, I am taking a moment to blog which I realize I haven't been very good at lately.

We have had a few ups and downs in the last 4 weeks and a glitch or two which were really upsetting. In fact, we had to wait about 2 weeks while the agencies involved decided if we could even continue our journey. I am not going to post those details however if you ask me in person I will happily share them with you. In fact as this goes along and we meet more and more people going through this process we will be able to encourage others because of what happened with us.

In the beginning of this wait period I was beside myself as was Brian. But then I was quickly reminded Who was in control and Who planted this in our hearts and I rested. Now this didn't mean that I didn't think about it daily or ask Brian if they had called yet but I had full confidence in knowing it was out of my hands and I could rest in the One Who held it.

It was interesting too, because one of my best friends asked me if I was going to call and defend myself to one of the board members of our adoption agency because we are related and I said "No, God is my defender" and I meant every word and had full confidence that no matter how things looked God knows our hearts. 1 Samuel 16:7

While on vacation last week word came back YES! You are fine, here's what you need to do...etc.

So, to the question where we are? We are still gathering some more paperwork needed to complete our home study and should be setting a date for our final interview with our social worker hopefully by the end of June. YAY!!!

How we are? We are amazing! Yes, we had a couple of melt downs but I can honestly say after crying for about 10 minutes I placed it in God's very capable hands and rested in His promises.

I sent out a text to my friend Tracy whom I met at adoption class to pray and she did. (I don't have your number Mollie or you would have gotten one too)

I leaned on several amazing friends here who are huge support to us and just prayed.

It did serve to remind me that you cannot do this alone. Support is everything and knowing others who are going through it is also a huge plus because they understand every step and know how crazy it can be.

Thank you thank you thank you for all your prayers and support. Please keep them coming because we are long way from being finished but we know we are on God's timetable, not our own and that gives us even more peace while on this journey.

Blessings!

Love is in the air.

Brian, the kids and I just spent some amazing time with Brians family. His brother, who is 5 years younger has a 17 month old daughter Moxie. We are completely in love with her. She took to all of us really quickly and loved the boys.
We have loved every minute being with our family and will miss them terribly.
Just one more reason I can't wait to bring our daughter home. She will have an amazing cousin close in age and will be smothered in love.








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John Piper~If You Abide in My Word, You Are Truly My Disciples

I listened to this message today by John Piper and was brought to tears because of how thankful I am to be part of God's family. I would encourage you all to listen and take notes. Its an incredible message of truth, wisdom and how to know if you are truly Jesus' disciple.
Enjoy and be blessed.