A White Christmas and so much more...

Since we had no family coming for Christmas this year we did something we've never done. Packed up at the last minute and headed to the mountains. We found a great deal on a beautiful cabin on the side of a mountain (a little scary too) and decided what better place to be than where there is snow for Christmas and the boys could learn to ski.

Getting up to the cabin proved a little more difficult than originally thought. And although we were warned to have either 4 wheel drive or snow chains the fault is ours alone. You see as were driving through it was clear there was very little snow to even speak of and only saw tiny amounts going up the sides of mountains so we chose snow cables. They were the cheaper of the 2 and therefore the way to go. Not so, because when you are climbing to an altitude of 3500 feet there may not be remnants of snow but by golly there will be remnants of ice and sure enough. As we were driving up the very steep tiny-barely-able-to-fit-one-car lane drive which by the way had a total drop off into the valley below some 500 feet on my side, the car got stuck, wheels began spinning, we started to slide and the cables were useless. By this time I am having quite the anxiety attack since its very dark and I am terrified of heights. Why go to the mountains I hear you ask? The things you do for the ones you love.
At that moment I exited the car in haste and took in a deep breath of mountain air. I also proceeded to walk as fast and as safely as I could up the rest of the drive to see just how far away the house was because I was not getting back in that car. Shortly after that Brian decided he could not get the rest of the way up without chains so we all hopped out of the car and walked all of our stuff up to the house. He made his way back down the mountain returned the cables and spent the extra money for safety and peace of mind.

We headed out Christmas Eve to take the boys skiing. Because of my neck injury I was simply the cheerleader and photographer for this event. The boys were excited, as was I because I had skied as a kid and loved it. I am pleased to say I only had 3 more anxiety attacks that day and one had nothing to do with height.

We were driving through Banner Elk downtown area taking in all the sights. We just happen to look over at a grassy hill area just in time to witness a police officer unloading a couple of rounds on a raccoon. Even though I know raccoons aren't your everyday tame domestic animal it was still a sight to behold and really shocked the boys.
Anyway, I digress. As we are ascending the mountain I feel the wave of panic set in again and wonder how much further are we from the top. It's almost as if I can somehow see us catapulting off the top every time we round another corner. But instead we just climb higher and higher and with every turn its steeper and steeper and I just wanna get off the ride.
But its kind of the same feeling I had when I was giving birth. You can't stop and decide you are done. There is no where to turn around, there is no where to pull over. You just have to keep going until you reach the top. Sensing my panic Brian had the foresight to pull over at the top. Ya I know what you are thinking, its too late now she's already melted down. But, surprisingly I still had it together. (I didn't completely lose it until later) So, we pulled over and took a couple pics.

Isn't that breathtaking? God is truly a magnificent creator. After a brief moment to catch my breath we drove around the corner and there was Beech Mountain.

It took about 30 minutes to get everyones stuff on, rent ski's, and find the bunny slopes and once they did it was only 5 minutes to decide they all needed to take the class.

Fast forward an hour and they are done being bunnies and ready to rock the real slopes. Its so amazing to watch how fast kids pick stuff up. Before I knew it, all of them were coming down that second mountain so fast I could hardly catch a picture or video. They had a blast. Here are a few more pics.

Leaving was hard. First of all they were all having a such a good time they didn't want it to be over and second because 4:30 was the end for everyone. They were closing so it was a race to hurry up and wait to turn in all your ski equipment.

The drive back down the mountain was pretty uneventful except for me crying in the back seat and my 11 year old attempting to comfort me. Seriously, my boys are never going to want me to go anywhere with them again.

Christmas day was beautiful. Since it had been snowing all night the trees glistened and children listened...just kidding. Honestly though it was beautiful.

After we ate pancakes, opened presents and stuffed ourselves with ham and everything else for Christmas lunch we suited up and went for a walk. Since there was a sled the boys had a blast walking from hill to hill seeing who could go down the fastest. It got funny when one had ice under the snow and Jared didn't realize it. He wasn't quite so eager the next time.

The plan was to go skiing the day after Christmas but by the time we got up there was already 8 inches of freshly fallen snow on the ground and it was still snowing. The forecast said a blizzard was coming and wasn't expected to let up until 6 the following day. So we decided to cut our losses and leave a day early.

However, I can't finish this post without boasting about my husbands amazing skills. He had to back down the drive in over 10 inches of snow and even when the car began to slide he never lost his cool (of course I'm a different story). Instead of sliding off the side, we slid into the side of the mountain. Finally, we were able to turn around and I truly thank God for His angels guiding us safely down and through the valley to the main road.

Moral of the story: Rachel stays at the bottom of the mountain.

All in all a beautiful and somewhat adventurous Christmas.

I have so much to be thankful for and am!!

The Gift of an Ordinary Day by Katrina Kenison

A great 7 minutes. Take time to watch.

Thankful

I am beyond thankful this season. Here are some of my reasons:
Hope in Jesus which is what sustains me.
A husband who loves me unconditionally, is an amazing provider, spiritual leader and pretty good in other areas too! *wink wink*
3 happy healthy boys who, despite all my efforts to stop them are growing up way too fast.
An extended group of family and friends who know me intimately and still love me.
Freedom to speak the name of Jesus without fear.
To live in America.
The house I live in, the car I drive (that is paid for), and the church I attend.
The freedom to Homeschool my children.
Sushi, bunco and Starbucks. :0D
Don't take life for granted. Be thankful every day!!



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Right where I am

I live in NC. I have purpose here. Sometimes I wonder though. I am homesick, to the point of breathlessness right now. How is it, when life is already so short my family is somehow called to be on the other side of the country?

Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails. Proverbs 19:21

I think that says it all.

When I realize that as I go about my life with my heart being fully committed to God and focused on Him then even when I feel purposeless His plans are prevailing.

I have these times when I question and doubt and wonder how this little seemingly insignificant life I lead has any purpose but thats just it, my heart is truly devoted to God and if this is where He wants me, doing just what I am doing right now then OK!

I think too often we compare ourselves with what others are doing. We sit and think well Christine Caine has been ministering in 4 countries in the last 2 weeks, or Francis Chan is starting yet another church in California and Nicky Cruz just had his 2,000th crusade. But I/you haven't been called to be Christine, Francis or Nicky. I've been called to be ME! I have to remind myself that just because I am not jet setting around the globe that somehow my life isn't as significant. God loves me and can use me right where I am as long as my heart is devoted to Him for His purposes and not my own.

Rest

I have been learning to rest. Not the whole mom of three kids, plus a husband and homeschool etc and I need a break kind of rest. But the resting in God kind of rest.
It started about a month ago after we began looking for a house. I wasn't really sure I even wanted to pursue house buying again. After all we went through in Florida I guess you could say I was gun shy. Now admittedly we didn't exactly do things the right way but even still we have been working really hard to be debt free so I didn't want to add any more. Not that house debt is bad debt but anyway, I digress.
There were just lots of things happening all at once I felt totally overwhelmed.
During my time with the Lord one morning I was reading in Matthew.
Matthew 6:25-27 says Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
Then in Matthew 10:28-31 Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell. Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.
The first scripture is telling me not to worry about my life or what I will eat or drink or what I will wear. That life is so much more than all those things. I like how in both scriptures there is a reference to birds.
Several times a week I'll sit on my back porch in the mornings to talk to God and my view is an empty field. As I watch the morning fully roll in the birds are flying all over, some solo and some together. I watch how they are so free and its so clear to me how they just live their lives knowing its all good. They are just birds but not one will fall to the ground outside your father's care. He knows when a bird falls to the ground and I'm worried that He might be missing something in my life?
So, back to rest. What does that look like? Different things for different people I guess. For some its disconnecting from the world, shutting off the phone, computer or TV, being quiet, taking a time out and getting away from it all. Maybe its all of these things. I think more than that its recognizing that God holds it all in the palm of His hand. He loves me and has it all under control. My life, my marriage, my kids, my future, everything and anything. Not only that but when I lack wisdom for any situation that He has control over I simply need to ask and He gives it to me. James 1:5. Key is to choose it. To open my hand and my heart and let Him reign. He has nothing but goodness for His children but we have to make the choice to give it up to Him and trust He knows best.
So, this house situation has been amazing all the way through because where ever we have needed wisdom God has provided it. We have prayed without ceasing, sought godly counsel and ultimately left it in His hands and entered His rest and its been the best thing I have ever done.
So, my encouragement to you? Choose to enter His rest. You will never regret it.

Halloween and stickin' it out!

Halloween this year was spent at our churchs' trunk or treat since I got suckered into decorating a car. If you know me, then you know that is not my area of expertise. Nevertheless I sucked it up and not only decorated but also made up a game for the kids to play for candy. Brian and I bought the best candy so I had to spend the whole night smelling this amazing chocolate and sugar mix. It was intoxicating but I held out and didn't give in and have even one piece. In just 28 short days Paleo has held true to it's word that when you cheat you feel horrible so it's not worth giving in. That doesn't mean though that it's getting easier because it isn't. In fact I'm quite sure I had migraine last night simply from inhaling. Well not quite but it sounds good doesn't it?
The boys had a blast being Napoleon and Pedro and Jayden even won the middle school costume contest. (Jackson won for Napoleon at a party last week) See below how funny they looked.
After beating the candy monster that is Halloween I am convinced Thanksgiving and Christmas will be a breeze.


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Thankfulness: It's an attitude

Lately I find my youngest constantly complaining about everything. It doesn't matter what it is, he finds a reason to complain. My standard response lately has been "Wow,it's never enough is it?" I wonder as I utter those words and even now as I write this does God feel this way? Do the lives we live out before Him and before others in our so-called Christian life scream out I want more, this isn't enough!! I have to ask myself what example have I set for my son and others that shows there is reason to complain. Because the truth is, there is nothing I or anyone anywhere in America has anything to complain about. But our pathetic culture has told us we do. We are bombarded daily with the subtle reminders of all we are missing in our lives. That if we buy into the lie it will make things complete and we will finally have peace.
But I have found the truth, thankfully! The truth is Gods rest is all I need. The peace that comes with knowing all I am and all I'll ever be is wrapped up in Him. That He holds me in the palm of His hand and true rest is found in knowing I have no control because He has all of it and He will never leave me.
Now, if I can only convey this to my son.
Try an attitude of thankfulness, you have nothing to lose and there is so much to be thankful for!

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It's the great pumpkin Charlie Brown

Monday evening our fam decided to do something we had never done before, carve pumpkins for Halloween. Now, before any of you get all Christinese on me we didn't do anything creepy or scary.
The boys (Jackson and Jayden, Jared is too cool) were pretty excited after dad cut off the top and they started cleaning out the insides. Of course it wasn't long before their excitement turned to groans coupled with "gross" and "ewwww". Even I was shocked at just how much junk was really in there and how long it took to scrape it all out. And as Brian pointed out, you better get all the "hair" out or once the candle is lit will catch on fire pretty quick once it's all dried out.
We let Jack and JD pick the faces and Dad and Jared went about carving them out. Its a lot harder than it looks but in the end we were pretty proud of how normal our pumpkins look.

For whatever reason all the pics loaded the wrong way. Here is the finished product.

Digging out its guts, yuck!

THINKING OUT LOUD: Change Your Name, Christian, Or Change Your Conduc...

THINKING OUT LOUD: Change Your Name, Christian, Or Change Your Conduc...: "'No matter where you find yourself, God has better things for you. That doesn't mean the absence of stress, pain and conflict. What it d..."

Things I've learned after 13 days on Paleo.

13 days ago Brian and I decided it was time to be proactive with our eating and health. We both wanted to feel better and sometimes you have to be extreme if you want extreme results. No more excuses!
Here are some things I've learned:
•Being this disciplined is extremely difficult.
•There are less things I can eat than I can't.
•Spaghetti with spaghetti squash is actually really good.
•I hate salad when I can't have good ole fashioned ranch.
•Paleo pancakes are pretty good but real maple syrup is not.
•Dark chocolate chips help when you are craving something sweet.
•I haven't been as tired during the day as normal.
•Potatoes make me sick, so do mushrooms.
•Almond milk and almond butter rocks and Paleo or not I'll never go back.
•Coconut milk is disgusting!!!
•Being this disciplined is worth it bc I feel great!!

This applies in all areas of our life. Discipline is never easy but always worth it!!!





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Remembering with Love

This is a picture of my beautiful mother.
She was 19 when it was taken.
This picture makes me smile.
There aren't enough words to describe how much I love her!!
Today she would have been 60.
I would have loved to tease her about it.
I can't do that.
She is with Jesus.
I ache to hear her voice.
I miss her contagious laugh.
I long for her presence in my life.
I am comforted in knowing she is whole, healed and abiding daily in God's presence.
I cling to the Hope I will see her again.
Happy Birthday Momma!!




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Who YOU are in HIM!!

For too many years I believed I was only as good as the car I drove, the house I lived, the clothes I wore and the company I kept. And because I bought into this lie life sucked! I was defined by things and people. I failed to understand who I was in Jesus. I was in debt, stressed out, unfulfilled, and basically miserable. As a result I judged others the way I felt the world judged me. If I had more then I felt I was better. If I had less then I felt inferior. It was a vicious cycle that tore me apart on the inside. It wasn't until we moved here 2 years ago on the verge of bankruptcy that God began opening my eyes to what was really important. All this material worldly stuff was so temporal. At the end of the day all this would fade to black. But what mattered? My heart! Your heart! The heart of the Father. Our relationships with each other. And of course first and foremost our relationship with Him. As I let Jesus in and do some heart surgery I entered His rest in this area. I'm not there yet and will never be but I am working towards my transformation in Him. Knowing what Jesus says about me and the truth in that is what will set me free. I want my Father to define me. I want the character and nature of Jesus flowing out of my life everyday so people will see my good deeds and praise my Father in heaven. Matt 5:16
Here are the truths of who we are in Him:
I am loved 1John 3:3
I am accepted Ephesians 1:6
I am a child of God John 1:12
I am Jesus' friend John 15:14
I am a joint heir with Jesus, sharing His inheritance with Him Romans 8:17
I am united with God and one spirit with Him 1Corinthians 6:17
I am a temple of God. His spirit and his life live in me 1 Corinthians 6:19
I am a member of Christ's body. 1 Corinthians 12:27
I am a Saint Ephesians 1:1
I am redeemed and forgiven Colossians 1:14
I am complete in Jesus Christ Colossians 2:10
I am free from condemnation Romans 8:1
I am a new creation because I am in Christ 2Corinthians 5:17
I am chosen of God, holy and dearly loved Colossians 3:12
I am established, anointed, and sealed by God 2Corinthians 1:21
I do not have a spirit of fear, but of love, power, and a sound mind 2Timothy 1:7
I am God's co-worker 2Corinthians 6:1
I am seated in heavenly places with Christ Eph 2:6
I have direct access to God Ephesians 2:18
I am chosen to bear fruit John 15:16
I am one of God's living stones, being built up in Christ as a spiritual house 1 Peter 2:5
I have been given exceedingly great and precious promises by God by which I share His nature 2 Peter 1:4
I can always know the presence of God because He never leaves me Hebrews 13:5
God works in me to help me do the things He wants me to do Philippians 2:13
I can ask God for wisdom and He will give me what I need James 1:5
Read these daily and be encouraged with these truths!!!

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Paleo Day 5. I want some bread!

Today I'm struggling. Especially as I eat my afternoon snack. Dont get me wrong, I love apples and almond butter but I long for bread. I crave bread, I NEED bread. Ok enough complaining. I am feeling better and that's all that matters although the boys will eat pizza tonight so talk about challenging. Wait, I said enough complaining. Ok I'm done.
25 days to go.
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Paleo Journal Day Three

For several years I have dealt with serious intestinal pain. It wasn't until 2 years ago I even learned of the word gluten and what it was. When I started to read about how it messes up your insides and the side effects I knew I was onto something and started really changing things in the hopes I would feel better. When I was still having issues someone mentioned maybe I was intolerant to lactose so I cut that out too and for about a month off and on I felt better. It wasn't consistent though and I felt frustrated. I began learning that there are gluten/lactose in more things than you realize because they are disguised with all these other technical names so you miss it.
About 3 weeks ago Brian happened on this article about how bad gluten/lactose etc. is so bad for you. DUH! He forwarded me the email stating "I am ready to get gluten out of my diet NOW!!" I was blown away since this is a man who loves anything fast, fried or full of sugar. So go here and read the article. Its full of the why's and all the science you'd ever want. I personally can't read or understand most of that so I just took Brian's word for it. He likes all the educational stuff and loves science and he said it all makes sense to him so together we decided to take the 30 day challenge. Here's the skinny, you can't have anything processed, no refined carbs at all, no sugar unless its stevia or honey, no lactose and no peanuts or legumes of any kind. So, this is a typical day: Breakfast can either be eggs with some deli (the all natural nitrate free kind of course) ham or turkey and avocado. I have a smoothie made with almond butter, strawberries, blackberries, flax seed and a banana. YUM!
For lunch Monday I made chicken fajitas seasoning made from scratch all natural with bell peppers and onions and over a bed of lettuce. No dressing aloud. I tried olive oil and almost threw up. Dinner for me that night was eggs with tomatos and ham.
Last nights dinner was actually not too bad. It was pork loin in the crock pot with cauliflower, and zucchini. I also added steamed green beans and broc. Everyone liked it.
Snacks include plain all natural applesauce, dried fruit, nuts (no peanuts), almond butter with celery or carrot sticks, fruit, and boiled eggs.
So, how have we been feeling? Well, its been rough. Brian and I both had headaches the first 2 days and then this morning I had a hard time leaving the bathroom if you get my drift. But I think things will settle down and once we really get into a routine it will become easier. We aren't tormenting our kids with this same life style except at dinner time.
Anyway, I'll be back in a few days to let you all (all 5 of you) know how we are doing.
Here's to feeling better.

Unshakable

This weekend our church hosted a womens conference called Unshakable and one of the speakers was Bethany Murdock from Wave Church in VA Beach. Our pastors wife, Debbie also spoke and they were all life changing messages.
Some of the ideas were making the declaration "I have faith for this!!"
Letting our faith bring power into our life.
Declaring that I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living! Don't worry about what you aren't, but who HE is!!
Jesus has promised us a joy-filled life (notice I did not say happy) because that joy that we choose will become our strength.
Anyway, there was so much more and it was all so encouraging. I feel renewed. If you want to hear for yourself go to reimagechurch.com and go to media and they will be right there or if you have an iPhone then podcast it.
And just to brag, our oldest kid helped lead worship for all the sessions. It's exciting to watch him use the talent God gave him for His glory.

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Choose this day

My friend Shirley, over at Thinking Out Loud inspired me to write this:
Joshua 24
The people were being challenged by Joshua to choose, if serving THE God wasn't something they desired then they should choose a god. Maybe one their forefathers worshiped or the gods of the land they were currently living and then Joshua declared "But me and my family, we will serve THE GOD!!" How often do children ride on their parents' faith? I've done it and seen it. The parents responsibility is to live their relationship with Jesus out loud all the while encouraging their children to seek Him for themselves. The younger you can encourage this the better. My children cannot have a relationship with God through me just like I can't have a relationship with God through my pastor or b/c I go to church every week. Authentic relationship with the Father requires digging into His word and seeking His truth for your life. James 1:5 says If any of you is deficient in wisdom, let him ask of the giving God [Who gives] to everyone liberally and ungrudgingly, without reproaching or faultfinding, and it will be given him.
He will give it, but will you take it?
It requires submitting when He convicts your spirit. You can't say you want God's truth in your life yet refuse to submit. Or think that can't be for me. I've had countless conversations with Him when He has convicted me. Why do I have to give up this or that? Why? Because it hinders you being closer to me. It hinders you being all that you can be spiritually. It leads to more temptation which, when given in to leads to more guilt and shame. You risk becoming de-sensitized to all the things the world says are OK. I want to be all I can for Christ. I want to be what John 15 talks about with the Vine and the branches. I want Jesus to remain in me. I am convinced I can do nothing apart from Him so if that means cutting things off that distract or take away from all I can be then let the pruning begin even if that means I'm a little uncomfortable and a little different according to what the world (even the Christian world) says. As Craig Groeschel often says "I'd rather be considered weird b/c normal is what everyone else is doing and I don't want to look like everyone else."

Ummmmm, OK?!

Wow, I don't get why a truck this size is necessary but OK. Each to their own.


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21 Things for A21

The A21 Campaign is a website I've followed for about a year. They are committed to abolishing injustice in the 21st century. www.thea21campaign.org
We all need to be aware of the staggering statistics of human trafficking going on in our world.
Here are just a few:
Trafficking in women is the second largest global organized crime today, generating approximately US$12 billion a year.
There are 1.39 million victims of commercial sexual servitude worldwide.
Over 25 percent of sex trafficked victims are trafficked from Southern and Eastern Europe.
90% of victims trafficked into EU member states end up in the sex industry.
There is an estimated 20,000 women and girls trafficked into the Greek sex industry, earning Greece the title: "the center of trafficking in Europe."
One study reveals that one in every 10 Ukrainian persons knows someone in their community who has been trafficked.
Tragically, only 1-2 percent of victims are rescued, and only 1 in 100,000 Europeans involved in trafficking are convicted.
(stats taken from a21 website)

Please go to this site and click on 21 Ways to help and do something.
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Clip from Jesus wants the Rose by Matt Chandler.

INCREDIBLE!!!!

Husband of the year award goes to...

Brian is not only the man of my dreams but as selfless as they come. Yesterday we packed up and he took me to Raleigh for the night.
After checking in to the hotel he took me to my fave restaurant PF Changs and after to the Apple store so he could get his drool on.
This morning after check out we went from car lot to car lot looking at mustangs (one of Brian's fave cars.
We soon found ourselves downtown bc Brian had found a tea/gift shop he wanted to take me to. The gift shop wasn't impressive at all but Brian selflessly agreed to share afternoon tea with me even though he was the only guy. It was English to a tee, no pun intended and after finishing his tea and scone with Devonshire cream he commented how much he liked it. I am incredibly blessed to be married to this man and pray I don't ever take him for granted.



Pure deliciousness!!


His comment here was, "I feel gay".


Tea for 2.


Scone with jam and cream.


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Bleeding Purple and Gold

Saturday Brian took me to my first ECU football game and all I have to say is ARRRRGGGGHHH!!
We were blessed with great seats on the 50 yard line and thankfully surrounded by fellow fans with clean mouths, if you get my drift.
ECU played Memphis and in the first half of the first quarter ECU scored 2 touchdowns. I thought it was funny too because in my opinion they were off to an awesome start and fans were loving them, however fast forward 2 minutes and those same fans quickly turned against them because someone fumbled the ball. It's so funny to me that this win or loss will make or break their day. I guess the truth of it is, we all have things that ultimately can control how we are or aren't. It's so funny to me that this win or loss will make or break their day. I guess the truth of it is, we all have things that ultimately can control how we are or aren't.
Well, ECU won BIG Saturday so I'm sure the partying went on into the night in celebration.

I've never been into sports much but I have to say I love watching people at events like these. People dress up with painted faces, wigs, wearing all the colors in support. A guy in front of us had a purple shirt, purple and gold shorts, a purple visor and then one purple and one gold converse. You could say he was into it. I don't own anything purple so I borrowed something from Jared's girlfriend. I didn't wanna feel out of place.

It was a lot of fun and I hope we get an opportunity to go again or at least for my boys to experience that too!

We saw these Pirate chicks so I forced Brian to get his pic with them.

Yes, thats me with Pirate Pete.

I want another one of these...

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Fearless

These kids of mine like to climb trees before art class at our local university. Here's the difference between them: jayden will climb all the way to the top if possible whereas Jackson stays close to the ground. Jayden is fearless in this area, Jackson is not. I often wonder why? Is this something they each inherited between mine and Brian's DNA? I know the older I get the more afraid I become. I guess it's bc you finally realize you aren't going to live forever so therefore you take less chances. I know for a long time I would look at others who would be fearless in mountain climbing, sky diving and the like and scold myself bc I wasn't brave enough to take those kinds of risks. But then I realized I'm fearless in other ways. I have the ability to go up to a complete stranger and talk to them and make them feel comfortable. I have no problem at all reaching out to someone who is hurting. I will open up my home to anyone at any time for any reason with no notice and feed them or just be there for them. I know for a fact these few things I've mentioned might terrify other people. See, God gives us all different abilities and different ways we are fearless. I'm choosing to embrace the ways God has given me and not be concerned I don't want to jump out of a plane.





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Top 10 Greatest ways to keep your marriage amazing!!

While blog surfing I came across the greatest top 10 list every wife/hubby and wife/hubby to be needs to read. Take it away Judi Free...

Every Day Wonderful

Productivity-it's always a good thing

Today has been one of those days that turned out the opposite of what I expected.
Just last night I was screaming inside that there was so much left to do and not enough time to get it all done. Add a 20 Somethings trip to the beach tomorrow and I was literally about to shoot myself.
As I sit here tonight all feels right with the world. Here's what got done in just 12 short hours.
~meal planning done for 2 weeks
~grocery shopping done for 2 weeks
~house cleaned from top to bottom
~school room organized ready for our official back to school on Tuesday
~laundry done for at least one day ;0)
~final curriculums decided upon
~date with my 17 year old
I can't tell you how good it feels to get all that done.
The beach is calling my name and I'm ready to answer that call!!!


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Nothing is Impossible for YOU!

You heal the broken hearted!
You bring freedom to the captive!
You set hearts on fire!
You are the father to the fatherless!
You give sight to the blind!
You soften the hardest heart!
You are forever wooing us to you!
You equip those you call!
You love us when we are unlovable!
You bring the prodigal home!
You pour grace and mercy over us!
You forgive us!
You give us eternal life!
Jesus you are my all in all, I will worship you all my days. In my pain and confusion be ever near and don't let go!



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Finishing so I can get started.

Have you ever felt like this? You can't get started because you haven't finished preparing? This is how the last few weeks have felt for me.
This is only our second year homeschooling and I haven't started well at all because I can't seem to finish anything. First of all I don't even have all of their curriculums purchased, but worse I can't decide which one to use. Second, I can't seem to write down lesson plans for even one week. No matter how many times I clean up the school room it continues to look like someone threw up in there. Add drum lessons, piano lessons, art class, being jareds taxi back and forth for work and I have to write the schedule for church nursery, plus all the other "mom" stuff, I just feel like I can't do it all. Maybe screaming would help... But instead I'm gonna take a step back take a deep breath and finish so that after Labor Day I can start.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Not assisted social suicide!!

I inspired my hubby. He has re-joined the blogging world after quite the hiatus because all the other social media that takes up his time and of course the job that pays the bills. However, let me clarify something, since he accused me of using his facebook thereby only committing assisted social suicide. Its not true. Yes, I used it once to announce an event to our small group of 20 somethings since I didn't have all their email address' yet but that is it!! I am not stalking anyone behind the walls of my hubby's facebook page.
So, theres the truth!

Victory at Jimmy Johns

Our kid did it!! He landed himself a job at this place.
It was cool the way it happened too. Brian asked me to take him by there at 2 yesterday because thats when the manager was going to be there. Jared had himself convinced he would walk in and walk out in 2 seconds since that is what had been happening at other places up to this point. But he walked in and 1 minute later he text me to say the manager was about to sit and chat with him. As a mom I felt disappointed because he could have been dressed better but thats just the type-A in me. Anyway, an hour later he came out smiling and said things went really well and he felt he'd connected with both managers. They told Jared to call them back if he hadn't heard anything by next Tuesday. I felt dejected by this but he vowed when he got home to continue to pursue other positions until something clicked.
We had barely walked in the door when the phone rang and Jared was shouting my name like a giddy school girl. "I GOT THE JOB!!!!"
He starts today as the mom in me groans, we've hit another milestone which makes us that much closer to saying good-bye and him starting his own life independent of us.
Well, after he pays all the medical bills. Thank God for stupid decisions that keep my kid close for a little longer. :0)

Vacation Slide Show

In July, Jackson, Jayden and I took a road trip. We went to St. Louis where my Aunt Holly and Grandfather (mom's side) live. My Aunt Mary joined us there and we had a good time visiting the Arch, Watching Under the Sea at the Imax and Science Center and taking in the Art Museum. Papa lives on a lake so he took us on his little pontoon boat and each of the boys took a turn steering.
From there we headed to Tulsa, OK where we spent some amazing and much needed time with family and friends we've known since the boys were born.
And last but certainly not least we ended in Kansas City visiting my good friend Kishan and her family.
We were gone 3 weeks and it was an awesome time.
Although, there is nothing like coming home. Life is good!

The Wall will Always Win!!!

Jared is desperately trying to find a job. The word desperate might not be part of that last sentence if it wasn't for this:


This all started May 29th 2010. After making an incorrect assumption (you know what they say when you assume right?) he got mad and punched the side of our house. Its half brick, half siding. He hit the siding. After receiving the call from my hubby I raced home and angrily ordered him in the car without opening the door for him I might add. Wincing in pain and trying to balance a bag of frozen peas on his hand he got in the car and I sped to the hospital. Not because it was really that big of an emergency but because I was so angry. Clearly, I was not resting in God but instead allowing myself to be controlled by the situation.

Once there we quickly learned it was indeed fractured and given a referral to see Ortho in a week. Being the impatient mom that I am I waited until Monday and called for an appointment. They got us in the next day. I can tell you right now, I was not prepared for what happened next. The doc explained he would need 3 pins to put Jared's hand back together because he had not only broken it in 3 places but had also dislocated it. Surgery was scheduled for the next day.

It went off without a hitch and a week later we were back to have the pins looked at and to have a hard cast put on.





Ok, so this is great. 4 weeks in a cast, the pins will come out then 2 more weeks in another cast and life will return to normal.

Oh, how wrong I was. The pins came out alright and infection set in.
We were at the lake with some friends and July 5th Jared was still complaining of some pain in his hand. We really didn't think anything of it, just that it was all part of the healing process. Then he said well I have this red streak running up my arm and I'm no doctor but even I know that is a sign of blood poisoning. We took him to the ER and they hooked him up to an IV antibiotic and sent us on our way.
The next day Brian and Jared had to drive 2 hours from the lake house to his Ortho Doc and then spent the rest of the day fighting with the insurance company and waiting to get an MRI. The doc told us that he needed the MRI to make sure the infection hadn't spread to his bones. When Brian called and told me that we all got together and prayed for God to do His thing. When they got back to us at the lake house Brian said they would call us with the results in the morning and if there was infection immediate surgery would be needed. I believed for nothing less than God's best which in my opinion was no infection and I had no doubt that was what we would hear when they called.
When they called and said to come in as soon as you can because we need to prep him for surgery my heart sank. I am proud to say I didn't lose it though. Although I had no idea it was about to get even worse.

During surgery prep the next morning they were explaining what the procedure would involve. They had found infection on both the fourth and fifth bones and literally would be going in to scrub those bones. We immediately began texting everyone we knew to pray. I was expectant that once he got in there it wouldn't be as bad as they originally thought. God is amazing. 30 minutes later they were done and said once they got in there they only saw infection on the fifth finger and had sent the biopsy off to microbiology. He explained it like this: the faster it grows the worse bug it is. Less than 24 hours later it had grown into a pretty nasty staph infection which now meant infectious disease had to be brought in. My head was spinning. All we wanted to do was go home. But that wasn't going to happen anytime soon. You see now that they knew what strain it was they determined it had to be treated with IV antibiotics. Which meant we had to wait until they got a pic/mid line in him and, since it was Friday there was no one to come home with us and show us how to administer all that we had to wait until Monday. UGH!!!

So, Monday came and went as did all the home health visits followed by trips to physical therapy and the infectious disease doc and here we are today. Stitches are all out and he is left with 2 really nasty looking scars and thousands in medical bills (which by the way we are making him pay hence the desperation for a job) which will forever remind him when you punch a wall the wall always wins.

From this to this

Jared has had this same haircut for a while and as his parent I try not to sweat the small stuff. Hair is a small stuff.


Since his hand is completely healed which of course I neglected to post about on here he has been feverishly job hunting since those medical bills are pouring in. Yesterday he landed his first interview with a local grocery chain. He was so excited about it he decided since first impressions matter he would cut his hair. I am so proud of him. Its still a little longer than I thought it would be but still a huge improvement. Tomorrow is the interview, so here's hoping the change pays off.

My Favorite Smoothie

Here's a yummy recipe for a smoothie I make regularly and love.

1 cup lactose free milk (you can of course use regular)
1 banana
1 cup of frozen strawberries or mixed berries
1 tbsp of ground flax seed
A handful of fresh or frozen spinach leaves

Blend until smooth and ENJOY!!

Dad vs. Daddy/Mom vs. Mommy

Our children, 17, 13 and 11 call us mom and dad.
While visiting our amazing friends in OK just recently I was in awe of the fact that their 2 boys 13 and 11 still refer to them as mommy and daddy. Then I was sad. Do the two younger of my three do this because they have heard their older brother do this? When did this happen? Since being home I have been listening to what they call us. It's mom and dad. No, I want mommy and daddy. So, just yesterday I asked Jayden (the 11 year old) can you please call me mommy again and he said no I'm not gonna do that. I begged. He said I'll call you mama. I agreed.
This morning, when I said good morning guess what he said?
Morning MOM!!!
*SIGH*

Just Say NO!!

I think the picture says it all!! Facebook has been a thorn in my side for quite some time. It was bad enough just on the laptop but then I got a phone which made access even easier and I found myself being mastered by it. Don't judge me, we all have our issues. I found myself wasting hours throughout the day on it. Looking at pictures, checking the news feed and wondering if someone commented on my status. So, its time for it to go.
I love this blog, this blog has purpose and does what its supposed to do which is keep all the people we love who are far away updated on our life. I won't do that when I am addicted to facebook.
So, here is to a new beginning. Please book mark us and check back for regular updates. I hope you will join us once again for the ride!!

Sometimes He calms the storm, sometimes He calms His child.

We are doing a series at Church called Miracles. One of the tag lines is Sometimes He calms the storm and sometimes He calms His child. There has already been a storm since re-opening our adoption. Details aren't necessary because it takes away from God's power to calm any situation. In times past I would have broken under crushing news that meant things weren't going my way. Not this time. We received said crushing news on Thursday and we were both disappointed. I text a friend of mine to let her know I needed her to pray but my spirit felt crushed. For a brief moment my hope wavered. I asked myself, "God did we miss it?" "I know you said now is the time, what is going on?" I didn't know what to think, how to feel or what would be the next step. It didn't help that our adoption consultant seemed less than interested in our plight. But GOD. Its the only thing I needed to be reminded this journey wasn't about us. It was about HIM. His plan was the only plan that mattered. His will was the only one I wanted to be in. He birthed this dream in our heart because its part of His dream for humanity. That we wouldn't forget the orphans, the widows or the less fortunate. Hope is alive and His name is Jesus.

Too Big for God? I Think NOT!

One of the reasons for putting the adoption on hold was debt. Too much debt. Like many people we had gotten sucked into keeping up with the Jones' and whoever else we were competing with. Also, b/c of all the debt we had incurred I'd had to go back to work almost full time. This was not the situation we wanted to bring another child into, especially not one we had rescued. We felt a little defeated and we weren't sure how to fix the problem we had created. God, however already had the answer before we asked the question. Back in December '07 after our friend Betsy shared a video about a couple who, after completing Financial Peace University, adopted a child we were inspired to check into the program. We completed the class in May '08, moved to North Carolina in June and have been waging war with our debt ever since. The main thing was to sell the house in Florida which took a year but did happen. As of December my car was paid off and just today we paid the last of the 3 credit cards. We still have Brian's car to pay off but we have reached our goal which was to pay off the credit cards and for me to be a stay at home mom again. I am not only at home again but also homeschooling our three boys. Although, a daily challenge we know this is God's path for us.
We have never stopped praying and believing for Grace to come home and we feel closer than ever. We are submitting new paperwork this week and will be back in the system which means we can seek out starting our home study. We know we still have a long way to go but we are confident this is God's plan for our family.
We would appreciate all your prayers, any ideas you might have for fund raising, links to any other blogs you may know about regarding adoption and just general encouragement. Thanks guys!!

Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me."

Its been almost a year since we blogged anything at all let alone anything adoption related. Nothing in our hearts has changed regarding bringing our daughter home, we just were doing a bit of cleaning up in preparation. Now that the clean up is just about complete we feel the time is now to move full steam ahead. So, Monday we contacted our agency and are in the process of re-opening our file. Here's what that entails: because its been over 2 years we have to fill out a new application and send in new photos. Then we will have to sign a new adoption agreement. Thankfully, the monies we have already paid are still good except the adoption agreement went up to $900 so we will have to send $200 and we are up to speed. The next step will be the home study. (See side bar for full list of steps) Once the home study is complete we will be eligible to apply for grants and also search the waiting children page on our agency's site. Brian and I are prayerfully considering the possibility of an older child/child with special needs.
Please join us and pray specifically for the following: finances to be in place when needed, the right child, the right time, and fund raising ideas.
We know the time is now but we can't do it without your prayers.
Blessings.

Happy 40th to the love of my life.

The man I love turns 40 today. He is the man of my dreams. He is my soul mate. He is my best friend. He is a leader, a man of integrity. He is an amazing father. He loves God with his whole heart and strives everyday to lead our family in His will. I am blessed to be loved by him and look forward to 40 more years.
Happy Birthday Brian. I love you now and forever.

In Recent Days...

I haven't had the strength to cry
I haven't had the strength to laugh
I haven't had the strength to ask for help
I haven't had the strength to pray or seek...but I did it anyway.
Life has been a whirlwind for us since we moved to North Carolina. Some days I wonder if we missed God b/c it has seemed our world has been more upside down than right side up. Like the only thing constant has been trouble, pain and grief. The other side of that is we must be right where God wants us b/c the enemy is doing everything he can to bring us down and I have to admit some days he wins. Like the last 2 or so weeks for example. With teenage angst hitting us harder than we ever expected, Brian having knee surgery and me in so much pain with my neck I can hardly get out of bed not to mention our impending move. The last 2 days in fact have been the worst. Exhaustion isn't even a fit description. I have felt so heavy on the inside like nothing we're doing is right but I won't be stopped. I serve a BIG God and my problems to Him are nothing. When I am weak, then I am strong. The joy of the Lord will be my strength and one of my favs I will hope in the LORD and will renew my strength. I will soar on wings like eagles; I will run and not grow weary, I will walk and not be faint.

I think I needed to post this just to remind myself I am a fighter and will continue to fight for my family and for the call God has on our lives.

The Joy in Waiting.

For a few months I have felt like maybe this adoption wasn't meant to be. Going through all of Jared's teen angst has been so stressful at times it has made me wonder how can I do this again let alone with a girl. However, through it all I have also come to see why God put adoption in my heart. Brian and I have had to endure with Jared the pain of him not knowing his biological father. To listen to him wonder aloud "How could he not want to know me and know if I'm OK when he had a hand in giving me life." You have no idea how that cuts right to your heart. But its all part of the preparation for when our daughter goes through the same thing. God has been so quiet about this adoption that I have felt maybe I missed it. Brian told me just Sunday that unless I am talking about something all the time I act like its over. It really made me stop and think. I know in my heart this isn't over. Its just going to take a lot more time than I originally thought. In just the last week my heart has once again swelled with passion for bringing our little girl home. I have once again seen her in my future with our family. Grace is coming home and I am so excited I have found the joy in waiting.

Lots and lots of weekend fun.

This weekend was so much fun. Friday evening I left with Joanna (the youth pastor's wife) for Raleigh with 6 highschool girls. We spent the evening eating, laughing, dying hair and shopping. Saturday we all went to Crabtree Mall where the girls cleaned up on great deals for themselves and also shopped for presents for their families. Despite being with teens, there was no drama and I can't wait to do it again.

Saturday night Brian and I hosted our 20 Somethings Christmas party. Brian was an amazing DJ and we all danced the night away, well the girls did anyway. Jared served as Santa and was the thinnest one I've seen ever. We played the game Dirty Santa (some of you boring people know it as White Elephant lol) and kept it remarkably clean. Now the dancing on the other hand, not so much. There were some pics I just couldn't post. HA HA.

All in all it was an amazingly fun weekend and now I just need to recover before work tomorrow.

Happy (belated) Thanksgiving

I decided I am long over due to update this blog and based on some recent status changes on facebook my understanding is people are somewhat concerned for our well being. I am not going to lie, things in the house of Maciaszek have been somewhat stressful for quite sometime. Since I am not at liberty to discuss said things at this time I thought I would at least share a about some other fun stuff.

We are still in the process of Saving Grace just going in a new direction with it. Since our overall intention is to save babies and help other parents adopt we have decided to pursue obtaining our 503 C status and create Our Saving Grace Ministries. Even though we are not ready at this time to pursue our own adoption doesn't mean we can't help raise money for others who are. There are lots of amazing families out there who can provide a great home to a child in need but don't have $20,000 in their bank account. We want to be there to help them. With a non-profit status we can fund raise to help others. So, please pray as we get those wheels in motion.

Thanksgiving day did not go orginally as planned (we were supposed to go to Rocky Mount) since this past week was emotionally and mentally draining, however we did make the best of it and spent it together just the 5 of us. We had fajitas and later made chocolate covered pretzels and crackers. A little tip, read the directions fully before you use Candy Quik. We didn't and our first try ended in rock chocolate. Then we made chocolate chip cookies. Not much luck there either. Apparantly, the Maciaszek's don't like to read directions. Believe me you can mess up cookies but we made the most of it and as long as you put them in the microwave for a few seconds they don't taste too bad.

Today was fun, Brian and I went for coffee together early and then walked around the mall for a few. Having lived in Florida and seen what black Friday really looks like at a mall, the Greenville mall made us laugh. After that we made chocolate chip pancakes, drank coffee and started to decorate. I love our tree. So, now it's Friday evening and we are settled in to watch MI III. Looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow and enjoy a relaxing weekend. See below for some fun pictures of our adventures in cooking.

Waster

Have you ever felt like you are wasting your life? Like whatever it is your doing is just getting you to the next day or the next week, month etc. That you could be doing so much more yet there is just nothing left at the end of the day. And whats worse? You are stuck. There doesn't seem like there is a way out. Because after all you did put yourself in that situation in the first place. Feelings tell you its awful, feelings tell you you can't do this anymore. All your grace for whatever it is is no longer there. Paul said in all situations be content. But I want to scream I DON'T WANT TO!!!! This isn't what I want to do anymore. There is no future in this for me. When my kids are gone from my house in just 8 short years I am not going to look back and say well I am so glad I did that! I am so glad thats what I spent my time and energy doing. I am so glad I was so exhausted from that that when I was home I was a vegetable. I just never thought this was how it was going to be. But then again I am famous for leaving God out of the loop on a lot of stuff and then wondering why it doesn't all work out. I know there is more in me than what I am doing. And I am not one of those people who can do it all and I make no apology for it (ok, well sometimes I do). If you are, then go you! Is this a pity party? No, it's an expression from an exhausted mom who has realized it's just not worth it anymore and is begging God for a reprieve. Will you please beg with me? 

Invisible Mother

A friend sent me this and as mom's we can all relate. It came at just the right time after God gave me a revelation regarding my family (something I will share eventually).


It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the

kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store.

Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?' Obviously, not

No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing

on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all.

I'm invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more:

Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?

Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask,

'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?'

I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.'

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied

history and the mind that graduated sum a cum laude - but now they had disappeared

into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going; she's going; she is gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England ..

Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about

the hotel she stayed in.

I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to

compare and feel sorry for myself.

I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package,

and said, 'I brought you this.'

It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe .

I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription:

'To Charlotte , with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would

become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work:

No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names.

These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished.

They made great sacrifices and expected no credit.

The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it

was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He

was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into

a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.' And the workman replied,

'Because God sees.'

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place.

It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you

make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin

you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are

building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.'

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life.

It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.

I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up

at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on.

The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because

there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for

Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she

hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built

a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything

more to say to his friend, to add, 'you're gonna love it there.'

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right.

And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty

that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

Great Job, MOM!

Hope this encourages you when the going gets tough as it sometimes does.

We never know what our finished products will turn out to be because of our perseverance.

Afraid to fail?

Are you afraid of failing? I am. I think it's one of the main things that holds me back in this life I lead. However, even though I am afraid I encourage my kids (and anyone else I know) daily to take the plunge and "do it afraid". I want them to take risks to help combat fear and get them to "the next level" of their lives. I also want them to fail. Maybe that sounds cruel but I know if they fail they have an opportunity to get right back up and be better than they were before. No one ever taught me that. We have already had several times in our kids lives where they have failed in something whether it be school, sports or relationships and because of our constant encouragement and not allowing them to give up they are becoming 3 young men I am so proud to call my sons. 

ULTIMATELY WE KNOW DEEPLY THAT THE OTHER SIDE OF EVERY FEAR IS A FREEDOM~MARILYN FERGUSON

Endorsement

I have been involved in some kind of sports my whole life. In school I was a runner and played volleyball and basketball  and would compete not only with my school but district wide. As I got older running seemed to me the obvious choice to stay in shape and worked for me for years. Not any more! I have major issues with my knees so therefore cannot run anymore. It was such a hard thing to accept but I knew I needed to find something instead of giving up (which I have kind of done for the last year). Allow me to say I have found it. Now, I have done tried lots of home workouts (remember Betsy?) but nothing has kicked my butt like this. It's called Turbo Jam and there are lots to choose from. Punch, Kick, Jam. Cardio Party 1 and 2. Total Ab Blast and last but not least Total Body Blast. I have been doing all of these work outs for the last 8 weeks on average 5 days a week and I have never seen or felt results like these. So, if you are looking for something and don't have money to join a gym I encourage you to give these a try. Oh, and let me know if you do and what you think. 

Innocence

Saturday evening right as we were finishing dinner our friends daughter Bethany came over to play with Jack and JD. As she was sitting at the table with them while they finished E! news came on TV. No one was really paying much attention until an image of Jamie-Lynn Spears came on and the kids started talking about her show Zoey 101. What proceeded out of Jackson's mouth and seeing his facial expressions was priceless and made me realize just how innocent he still is. Here's how is went down.

Jackson: Ya she is in that show Zoey 101. I really like that show

Bethany: I don't think I've seen it, we don't have cable.

Jayden: Didn't she have a baby?

Me: Ya just recently I think.

Jackson: What??? She had a baby, how old is she?

Me: 16 or 17

Jackson: Wait a second... (you can tell he is thinking) is she married?

Me: No

Pause, his facial expression begins to change

Jackson: You mean...

Jayden trys to interject but I beat him to it

Me: Yes, she had sex before she was married.

Jayden: Ya that's what I was getting ready to say

At this point Jackson has stopped eating and the look on his face is of pure disgust.

Jackson: That is absolutely disgusting, I can't believe she had sex and wasn't married. 

There you have it. Man I love that kid. He is so innocent, still to the point he doesn't get why Bethany's mom and I won't let them have sleep overs. I am going to cherish this for as long as I can.

***Disclaimer: We aren't stupid, the sex talk has been had I guess he just has decided  that God says no sex before marriage and thats that. 

A Wal-mart Friend

Sometimes you just need a friend to go and tolerate Wal-mart with you...I am thankful Debra is that kind of friend. In Florida I was blessed with a super Target down the street from my house so I didn't have to endure the stress of Wal-mart. In case you aren't familiar Super Target is clean, has large aisles, is free from clutter, quiet, never busy, no lines (except at Christmas) basically all the things Wal-mart is not. Well, the little town I love only has a Wal-mart so I must again endure the pain and suffering of shopping there in order to feed my family (insert dramatic sigh here). The last couple days have been a little stressful and I have been struggling to keep my head above water. Today, when Debra called and asked what I was doing and I told her she just offered to go and endure with me. I was so blessed you have no clue. I don't think she really understands what it meant to me that she went. Just a quick background...I have only known Debra since I started at my new Starbucks only 3 months ago but she has already proved to be a friend. Someone you know you can talk to and trust. Someone who will be honest with you, someone who likes you for you. She is awesome. I hope you are blessed with a Debra in your life.

Still praying for baby Grace

After we made all our calls and talked with our agency and got ALL the facts this is what we know. If we plan to continue our adoption journey right this second our agency, Children's Hope International cannot help us. They are still appealing the decision to not give them the Hague accreditation they need for all China adoptions so using them would be out of the question. However, we could start all over again with another agency but this is not even an option as far as we are concerned. We could however, choose another country to adopt from. After discussing the different countries with a representative and getting a general idea as to how they work we are considering Ethiopia. The cost is about the same but we wouldn't have to be in country as long, only 5-7 days vs the 14 we would need to spend in China. It isn't that we object spending so much time there and certainly wouldn't base our whole decision on it but with 3 kids at home to think about its something to consider. Also, the process isn't as long. From the time we put in our dossier in for China we can expect to wait 24 to 36 months just for a referral and from there another 2-3 months before we travel. From beginning to end with the Ethiopia program its only 9-15 months. This also is a huge deal for us especially considering we are on our way to being 40. Again, not that any of these things will make or break the decision in adopting a baby. Anyway, as you can see/read we have several things to consider and we are once again asking you to join us as we make our requests known to God. His timing will be perfect for bringing our daughter home. We are not losing hope. It just might be going down a different road than we originally thought. Personally, I am excited to see where that road leads and more excited you are on it with us. We can't do it without you. Blessings.

An Obstacle

We received this email from our agency in July. What it means for us is this...because we were only in our application phase we can no longer proceed with them and all monies submitted are gone. (All application fees are non-refundable.) They are appealing the decision so I am not sure what that will mean if they are approved somewhere down the road. I am sad, sad for my grandfather b/c this agency is his blood, sweat and tears, sad for Brian and I and the thought of having to start again with another agency or not at all. We are praying about where to go from here. Please join us and pray also for quick resolve with their Hauge accreditation.

On July 9^th, 2008 CHI was reviewed by COA for our Hague accreditation. Yesterday, July 17, 2008 we were informed by COA that our Hague application has been denied. Our denial was based on being non-compliant in one state where we are licensed. This was not brought to our attention until last week after the Hague review was already underway. We are currently working to resolve this issue and will be requesting from COA re-consideration to our approval.

Specific information on how this affects you - or if it will affect you will be coming in the near future from your specific program.

We are going forward in the faith that this will soon be resolved. We are committed to you and your adoption.

Thank you for your patience and prayers during this time.”

Dwyatt Gantt

Can I just say...

Whenever you are out and you are a customer somewhere whether it be at a counter or in a drive thru...

GET OFF YOUR PHONE!!!!

You have no idea how frustrating it is to deal with you and try and get your order when you are talking to someone on the phone. We don't know if you are taking to us or the person on the other end. Not to mention its rude. If you can't hang up at least put it down for a minute. I am sure whomever you are talking to will understand. This will eliminate getting your order wrong and will speed up service. Please have some respect and treat others as you would want to be treated. I understand some of you have never worked in a drive thru or say fast food so can't understand so take it from someone who does it everyday...its RUDE!!!!!


Note: This does not just apply to drive thrus or fast food restaurants please apply this to grocery stores, department stores and even just getting ice cream at Marble Slab. Thanks.

Finally...an update from NC

Well, we did it!!! We moved again. Only the 4th time in 3 years. Not too bad. In case you are just joining us we just moved from Florida to North Carolina 3 weeks ago. Brian had already been there almost 6 weeks when he flew back in to move us. While he had been in NC I was busy packing up the house and still working while the kids finished school. I am not gonna lie, it was hard work. I have a new appreciation for single moms and military wives. Brian flew in on the Thursday and Friday our Starbucks family plus a few other faithful friends spent hours packing, loading and sweating. It was touch and go for while as we didn't think everything would fit in the truck. So much so I found myself setting things aside saying I can part with that and that and that. In the end it all worked out and about 8am Saturday we hit the road. I can honestly say I never looked back. Apart from a few close friends I made through Starbucks I was not at all sad to leave Florida. Personally, I think it's an amazing place to visit but a terrible place to live. The drive was so great and flawless I have no fun stories.

We arrived late Saturday night and when I rolled off the air mattress Sunday morning I felt as if I had a knife stuck in my throat when I swallowed. However, there was no time to be sick so on we all went unloading and unpacking. By the time the 4th of July rolled around I was so sick I could barely get off the couch. I missed all the 4th festivities and didn't get to meet all these people I had just heard Brian talk about for the last 6 weeks. Let me tell you word travels fast in a church like that and before we knew it we had all these people bringing us meals 1. b/c we had just moved in and 2. b/c I was sick. I could not believe it. I felt very thankful and overwhelmed at the same time.

So, here we are almost 4 weeks later and I can't tell you how much I LOVE IT HERE!!!! This is where we are meant to be. It feels so natural to be here, like its always been. I know why God brought us to Florida but I will thank Him everyday for bringing us out.

P.S. I know this is very brief but I will try and let you all in later on other stuff. Be blessed.

5 years ago today...

• her pain and suffering ended
• my father lost his wife
• I lost my best friend
• she met Jesus
• I knew what hell was
• I knew God's sovereignty

As 5 years has passed us by and we have all managed to pick up the pieces and live our lives without her I recognize more and more how short life is. The pain of that day is as real today as it was 5 years ago. Remembering how I sat with her one last time as she turned cold. I held her hand to my face in an effort to never forget what it felt like to be touched by her. I was afraid to leave for fear I would forget. But now, I see her in my relationships with others. As I remember the type of women she was I long to be like her. So selfless and accepting. Always thinking of others ahead of herself. Laughing through tears, singing and praising through the pain as the cancer ate away at her body. Never giving up hope, never faltering in her faith and ultimately living her life for His glory to the very end. She always said she won either way and she was right. Not a day goes by I don't miss her but as I look at our family and see how we let God turn mourning into morning I thank God for every minute I did have her and all the things she is still teaching me even 5 years after her death.

Walking by Faith

Today was a rough day. Brian and I have had some really tough decisions to make lately. We have prayed, called for wise counsel, cried, prayed some more and have just been holding on to hope. The housing market is not what it once was so it feels so hopeless. The kids and I were going to be joining Brian the 20th of this month but after more prayer and thought Brian decided we should wait a little longer and hope we get an offer. This was not what I wanted to hear. Even after I prayed last night "Lord, I trust Brian and whatever you show him is the right thing to do I will follow", man I was mad. Then sad. I spent the better part of the day praising and worshipping God through gritted teeth and tears. However, in faith I also went to the store and bought bubble wrap and packing tape to resume packing. Jared and I emptied the china cabinet onto the table so I could begin boxing it. In the middle of the mess I got a text. SHOWING TODAY 230-330. I couldn't believe it. HOPE. I finished up that part of the packing, then ran around to finish straightening the house. Later on today I had a meeting at work and on the way home another text...OFFER FOR (our address) BEING FAXED TODAY. Are you kidding me?? An offer? I sat there and cried and thanked God for HOPE! There are still a lot of hoops to jump through but I am holding on to the One Who is holding on to me. Thank you Jesus you never let us go. If you think about us...please pray. Thanks.

Got Miracles??

I know You do. I need one. Thanks for agreeing with me...

13 years and on our way to Forever...

Today is my anniversary. Brian and I met 13 years 3 months ago at a seminar when we were working for the same company. It was instant, things were rough for quite a while (it's what happens when you marry someone you don't know) but soon we figured out not only did we love each other but we liked each other. Here are some of my reasons; he is my rock, he helps me stay balanced, he loves God, he loves his kids, he loves his mom, he loves my family, he works hard, he has passion, he's edgy, he knows how to relax, he's a dork, he makes me laugh more than anyone has or will, he's selfless beyond words, he's humble, he's a peace maker and a peace keeper, he's young at heart (and in years, lol), he's not afraid to take chances, he says he's sorry, he admits his weaknesses, he loves me for me.

I love you and miss you babe, Happy Anniversary!!!