All for LOVE...

All for Love the Father gave, Abba Father have your way...
These are just a couple of lines from a song I love by Hillsong.

All for the love, the Father gave and He expects us to do the same. Being here in another part of the world surrounded by nothing familiar and nothing comfortable is not what I would ever choose to do. Because at the root of who I am without God is pure selfishness. I hate the fact that last night was the first time in 8 days I actually slept more than 4 hours (and I did that with the help of meds). I hate that there is little I like to eat here. I hate being stared at constantly. I hate that I understand nothing and no one. I hate that I still have to be here another week and a half. I hate being so far away from my kids and my bed and everything comfortable. But I love God. And God, in HIS love for us and because he hated our sin and He hated the separation from us made THE biggest sacrifice of all. He gave HIS son's life so we could be adopted into His family so we wouldn't have to be separated from Him for all eternity.

When I look at the precious little girl God has given us, its worth it all. All the sleepless nights, all the feelings of hunger and discomfort. All the heartache of missing my other kids. Its worth it to sacrifice all of that to bring her into not only our family but also into the family of God.

Jenna Grace is grieving and broken right now, I am sure she is bewildered and feeling so insecure and unsettled. She is surrounded by nothing familiar and nothing comfortable. She doesn't understand what is going on or understand what we are even saying. Yet she allows us to hold her, rock her and tell her we love her.

Maybe you are like Jenna Grace right now or maybe you are like me. I would just encourage you to rest in the arms of Jesus, let Him hold you and tell you it will be OK. It might not be the answer you are looking for but if you believe that He works all things together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose then really believe that, trust that and rest. Trust that He will right the wrong and trust that even if you don't want to make 'that' sacrifice, with God's help, you can and you should.

He did it for you, and you were so worth it to Him and I promise it will be worth it to you also.

Blessings.

GOTCHA DAY!!!

After over 6 years of waiting, praying, hoping, trusting, praying, paper chasing, praying, believing... well you get the picture we finally made it to GOTCHA DAY!

Father's Day, June 16th 2013 we headed to Nanchang to meet our girl. Our time to meet was 4pm. We were delayed leaving Beijing by about 35 minutes. When our rep, Lisa from Holt met us from the plane I asked if it looked like she would arrive on time. She informed us JG had already arrived b/c they took the express train. That made it surreal. That we were just 30 minutes away from uniting with our daughter. A moment we had looked forward to and dreaded for months. Once we arrived at the hotel we had just enough time to check in, get to our room, grab a toy and sucker and it was time. 

We headed to the lobby and we were both giddy. I was shaking slightly b/c I really had no idea how it was going to play out. Plus, I wasn't sure if I would be able to hold my emotions together. I'd been struggling and on the verge of tears all day. Brian, on the other hand was cool as a cucumber. 

But, I digress. As we walked through the lobby I was smiling so big and couldn't wait. I handed the camera to Lisa and hit record for her. We rounded the corner and there she was, sitting on the couch. It took my breath away to finally see her in person for the first time. There were two young women with her. They were the ones who had brought her from her foster home/orphanage. One of the women pulled her off the couch to stand and I made my way very gingerly toward her. I handed her the baby doll and sucker. She took both and backed away from me. We all giggled at that. One of the women continued to push her towards me. She, of course was not having it. I pulled the wrapper off the sucker and she liked that. She started chewing on it and was drooling everywhere. That is just a side not b/c those who know me know my ocd was going nuts. HAHA. 

JG was smaller than I thought she was going to be. We had received so many pics where she looked like a little chubby bunny, so I was somewhat surprised at how little she actually was. 

As I was looking her over, Lisa explained she had a double ear infection. :0( How sad is that? Her whole life is being turned upside down and she has an infection? UGH! 

The crazy thing though was they told us she was on medication for it but they didn't bring it. That I don't get. She literally came with the clothes on her back and nothing else, not even a bottle. NOTHING. I had been warned she would come empty handed, clothes wise but not even a bottle or the meds she needed for her ears? That just didn't make sense to me at all. Again, I digress. Sorry that keeps happening. 

So, we all sat there for several more minutes. They would push her towards me, she would cry. Brian would try, she would cry. Drool was happening all over and the baby doll I gave her was a sticky mess. I knew at some point we would just have to pick her up and get the screaming over with. So, I took a deep breath and picked her up. Surprisingly, she barely cried. I hugged her close and began to cry myself. I just kept telling her how much I loved her and how I would never ever leave her and that mama and baba (daddy in Chinese) were here. She clung to me. And I mean clung. She had her sticky hands gripping the back of my neck and wouldn't let go. It was awesome!!!!!

The three of us made it back to the room and just 5 mins inside she was asleep. 

The rest of the afternoon was pretty smooth. She would go between me and Brian and did not want to be put down. She played with the stacking cups I got her and a bottle of probiotics. She liked the noise the pills made on the inside (don't worry its a child proof cap). We had no intention of messing with her clothes or anything else for that matter. But no sooner did Brian leave to go and get formula then she went through her diaper. Guess that settled that. I got her cleaned up and in some pj's. 

When B got back we ordered dinner and I made her a bottle. She wasn't that interested in either and by 8pm was asleep on Brian and she slept through the night!! Me, on the other hand not so much. I kept checking she was breathing so only got about 4 hours of sleep. I am pretty much running on fumes today. 

We gotcha and aren't ever gonna let you go!

First pic of the three of us. Can't wait to do one with the whole family. 

She will have him wrapped around her finger in no time. 

Precious, just precious!

This morning, Monday we headed to the Civil Affairs Office to finalize her adoption. By 10am she was officially ours.

Here we are with the two girls who brought her to us yesterday. I just got a lump in my throat looking at this pic again. They were such sweet girls. 

This is the pic they took of us that goes on the adoption decree that you see below. 

Its official. She is ours forever!!

Waiting at the office.  See the bottle in her hand? 

Too cute. 

She will not hold her own bottle. I can't wait to ween her from it anyway. 

Asleep on her daddy. He was all she wanted this morning. 

Playing with her stacking cups. See the bottle again? She will not put it down. 

After the civil affairs office, notary and passport office we went back to the hotel. Once there she managed to 1/2 way smile for me twice. 

Soon after, the doc arrived to look at her ears. We have some meds for her now and are praying she gets better before we have to fly on the 21st. Please, please, please pray with us. I know God's got this. 

Once again thank you for being on this journey with us. We have felt all of the prayers and feel so supported, encouraged and loved. We cannot wait for all of you at home to meet her!

Blessings.

Tiananmen Square, The Forbidden City and The Silk Factory.

Today was our last day in Beijing. It was so hot with very little moving air. As we set out to the square it was unbelievable to me just how many people there were. It doesn't matter where we go or what time it is, there are always masses of people. Anytime you walk past shops of any kind people are in your space trying to sell you something. They don't care that you don't understand Chinese, they will talk to you anyway. Most of the time it will take at least 4 no's before they will finally walk away. It also doesn't matter that our tour guide is speaking, they will still just start talking to you. 

Our first stop today was the T Square. Below is Lydia (our tour guide) giving us the history. She is such a wonderful guide. I have zero retention so I recorded several of her talks. Her English is excellent. 

China's National Museum. We did not visit here. 

Our second stop was The Forbidden City. The masses were much worse here.  Air quality in general is so poor, add to that the congestion of people and 3/4 of them smoke and you feel like you can't breathe. 

The buildings were really beautiful. 

This is Danielle and John. They are from New Jersey and have 2 bio kids. 2 boys. This is their first adoption. Their little girl, who they are naming Lilly is 7 and they will meet her Monday. John and Brian got along famously. 

This is Jill, her daughter, Kiana and Jill's mom, Sharon. They are from Wisconsin. This is Jill's 3 adoption. She also has 3 bio kids, all boys. Kiana was adopted from China in 2002 and 2 years ago her and her hubby adopted a little 8 year old girl from Ethiopia. 

This is Carl, Beth and Jack. They just joined our group today. They are from Baltimore. This is their second adoption. They adopted Jack 2 years ago when he was 2. 

This is the original bed of the once Emperor of China. 

These next few pics are in the Imperial Gardens in the Forbidden City. 

Brian and me with our tour guide, Lydia. 

I found these placards today and just had to get them. 

I bought JG 2 articles of clothing from the silk factory. Brian has all the pics from there. It was really amazing. They showed us how the silk worms evolve and then create the silk. These 2 pieces of clothing are 100% silk. They are much more beautiful in person. I am hoping the bottom one will fit her for her dedication at church. 

I just think these little cars are so hilarious. You will see them all over the city. 

There was something so sad I just have to mention b/c it really moved me. We were walking back to the bus and this long stretch of sidewalk was peppered with people trying to sell us everything from flags to hats and so on. But then there were all these people about 20 feet apart sitting alone pan handling. But these pan handlers weren't like anything I had ever seen. Several had missing arms, or seriously deformed legs or arms. One man looked like he might have been a dwarf and had such a horrible deformity in his back his shirt couldn't cover the lump. But the one who struck me the most was a man who had been burned all over his face, chest and torso. He was also missing his left arm and he clearly had not been taken care of very well. I found myself weeping, yet he was singing, not just asking for money. He could sing. I thought here is a situation that with my eyes seems so helpless and hopeless but he is still doing what he can. And his can was full of money. Whatever he was doing was working.

After just these few days here and all I have seen, all the poverty, all the hopelessness and all the darkness in people's eyes I am so thankful to know Jesus. It also inspired me to be mindful to keep my hand and heart open to what God has for us after this adoption is final. It can't suddenly be about me b/c we bring JG home. I have to admit, after being here only 2 days I decided I didn't want to do this again. But, its not about me. Its about God. Its about His glory and not my own. So, I will seek Him for the next step and trust Him. Who knows, it may not 

So, its 9:19pm and our flight is at 11:20am tomorrow morning. We fly to Nanchang and at about 4:30pm we will meet our girl. I have butterflies even as I write this. It is so close. Please pray for us. Please pray I have no anxiety b/c I can't take anything for this flight. I don't want to be out of it before meeting her. Most of all, pray for JG. Tomorrow her whole world is going to fall apart and we won't be able to explain anything to her. Pray our emotions remain in tact and that facial expressions and affection will be enough to comfort her as she grieves her loss, which is HUGE! 

Thank you for walking with us. We are beyond thankful for you. 

Blessings.

Visiting one of the seven wonders of the world.

Our day started very early again. I woke up at 4 and just laid there willing myself back to sleep to no avail. By 430 B was awake so it was game on. Time to get ready for our first day of sight seeing. Today's site was one of the seven wonders of the world, The Great Wall. It was pretty amazing. And despite how steep it was and my completely unnatural fear of heights I climbed all the way to the third tower. It was incredible. Brian actually did it twice. 

Good morning! 

Squatty potty. If I ever have to use another one again, it will be too soon. 

Since 2000 couples have been coming and adding a lock to signify their marriage. They then throw away the key signifying their commitment cannot be undone. Pretty cool.

About to get started. Lets do this!

The second tower. I considered stopping here. However, I figured you don't come 7,000 miles and not go all the way.
And before anyone says anything, I know...its 4,000 miles long but three towers was the group goal. 

Isn't that incredible?!

B climbed up into the third tower. He was pretty proud of himself. ;0)

Showing on the map where we climbed to...I can't quite reach up that high. 

Whew! And we're done, hot sweaty and exhausted. Next stop...

The Jade factory. 

This entire thing was made from one piece of jade. It only costs $61,000 and that includes shipping. 

This is the family ball. This one has three layers, all made from one piece of jade. We bought one but its smaller. Brian was fascinated with this ball. It signifies a good and happy family.

B said you're supposed to rub buddha's belly for luck. HAHA!
(Did you notice my jade bracelet? I will pass it to JG when she gets married as is custom)

A jade carver. 

Our rickshaw. We went to visit historic Beijing. 

The owner of this house, woman on the right, has had this house in her family for over 120 years.  One of the chairs in that room was over 100 years old. 

Beautiful love birds. 

Tomorrow is another day of sight seeing and lunch with the China staff from our agency. We are looking forward to that. Although tomorrow also means we are just 36 hours and one more flight away from meeting our girl! Please pray for calm spirits and an accepting heart. Its hard not to be nervous. Thank you. Blessings.