The Joy in Waiting.

For a few months I have felt like maybe this adoption wasn't meant to be. Going through all of Jared's teen angst has been so stressful at times it has made me wonder how can I do this again let alone with a girl. However, through it all I have also come to see why God put adoption in my heart. Brian and I have had to endure with Jared the pain of him not knowing his biological father. To listen to him wonder aloud "How could he not want to know me and know if I'm OK when he had a hand in giving me life." You have no idea how that cuts right to your heart. But its all part of the preparation for when our daughter goes through the same thing. God has been so quiet about this adoption that I have felt maybe I missed it. Brian told me just Sunday that unless I am talking about something all the time I act like its over. It really made me stop and think. I know in my heart this isn't over. Its just going to take a lot more time than I originally thought. In just the last week my heart has once again swelled with passion for bringing our little girl home. I have once again seen her in my future with our family. Grace is coming home and I am so excited I have found the joy in waiting.

Lots and lots of weekend fun.

This weekend was so much fun. Friday evening I left with Joanna (the youth pastor's wife) for Raleigh with 6 highschool girls. We spent the evening eating, laughing, dying hair and shopping. Saturday we all went to Crabtree Mall where the girls cleaned up on great deals for themselves and also shopped for presents for their families. Despite being with teens, there was no drama and I can't wait to do it again.

Saturday night Brian and I hosted our 20 Somethings Christmas party. Brian was an amazing DJ and we all danced the night away, well the girls did anyway. Jared served as Santa and was the thinnest one I've seen ever. We played the game Dirty Santa (some of you boring people know it as White Elephant lol) and kept it remarkably clean. Now the dancing on the other hand, not so much. There were some pics I just couldn't post. HA HA.

All in all it was an amazingly fun weekend and now I just need to recover before work tomorrow.

Happy (belated) Thanksgiving

I decided I am long over due to update this blog and based on some recent status changes on facebook my understanding is people are somewhat concerned for our well being. I am not going to lie, things in the house of Maciaszek have been somewhat stressful for quite sometime. Since I am not at liberty to discuss said things at this time I thought I would at least share a about some other fun stuff.

We are still in the process of Saving Grace just going in a new direction with it. Since our overall intention is to save babies and help other parents adopt we have decided to pursue obtaining our 503 C status and create Our Saving Grace Ministries. Even though we are not ready at this time to pursue our own adoption doesn't mean we can't help raise money for others who are. There are lots of amazing families out there who can provide a great home to a child in need but don't have $20,000 in their bank account. We want to be there to help them. With a non-profit status we can fund raise to help others. So, please pray as we get those wheels in motion.

Thanksgiving day did not go orginally as planned (we were supposed to go to Rocky Mount) since this past week was emotionally and mentally draining, however we did make the best of it and spent it together just the 5 of us. We had fajitas and later made chocolate covered pretzels and crackers. A little tip, read the directions fully before you use Candy Quik. We didn't and our first try ended in rock chocolate. Then we made chocolate chip cookies. Not much luck there either. Apparantly, the Maciaszek's don't like to read directions. Believe me you can mess up cookies but we made the most of it and as long as you put them in the microwave for a few seconds they don't taste too bad.

Today was fun, Brian and I went for coffee together early and then walked around the mall for a few. Having lived in Florida and seen what black Friday really looks like at a mall, the Greenville mall made us laugh. After that we made chocolate chip pancakes, drank coffee and started to decorate. I love our tree. So, now it's Friday evening and we are settled in to watch MI III. Looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow and enjoy a relaxing weekend. See below for some fun pictures of our adventures in cooking.

Waster

Have you ever felt like you are wasting your life? Like whatever it is your doing is just getting you to the next day or the next week, month etc. That you could be doing so much more yet there is just nothing left at the end of the day. And whats worse? You are stuck. There doesn't seem like there is a way out. Because after all you did put yourself in that situation in the first place. Feelings tell you its awful, feelings tell you you can't do this anymore. All your grace for whatever it is is no longer there. Paul said in all situations be content. But I want to scream I DON'T WANT TO!!!! This isn't what I want to do anymore. There is no future in this for me. When my kids are gone from my house in just 8 short years I am not going to look back and say well I am so glad I did that! I am so glad thats what I spent my time and energy doing. I am so glad I was so exhausted from that that when I was home I was a vegetable. I just never thought this was how it was going to be. But then again I am famous for leaving God out of the loop on a lot of stuff and then wondering why it doesn't all work out. I know there is more in me than what I am doing. And I am not one of those people who can do it all and I make no apology for it (ok, well sometimes I do). If you are, then go you! Is this a pity party? No, it's an expression from an exhausted mom who has realized it's just not worth it anymore and is begging God for a reprieve. Will you please beg with me? 

Invisible Mother

A friend sent me this and as mom's we can all relate. It came at just the right time after God gave me a revelation regarding my family (something I will share eventually).


It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the

kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store.

Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?' Obviously, not

No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing

on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all.

I'm invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more:

Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?

Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask,

'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?'

I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.'

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied

history and the mind that graduated sum a cum laude - but now they had disappeared

into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going; she's going; she is gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England ..

Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about

the hotel she stayed in.

I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to

compare and feel sorry for myself.

I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package,

and said, 'I brought you this.'

It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe .

I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription:

'To Charlotte , with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would

become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work:

No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names.

These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished.

They made great sacrifices and expected no credit.

The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it

was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He

was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into

a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.' And the workman replied,

'Because God sees.'

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place.

It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you

make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin

you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are

building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.'

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life.

It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.

I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up

at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on.

The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because

there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for

Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she

hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built

a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything

more to say to his friend, to add, 'you're gonna love it there.'

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right.

And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty

that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

Great Job, MOM!

Hope this encourages you when the going gets tough as it sometimes does.

We never know what our finished products will turn out to be because of our perseverance.

Afraid to fail?

Are you afraid of failing? I am. I think it's one of the main things that holds me back in this life I lead. However, even though I am afraid I encourage my kids (and anyone else I know) daily to take the plunge and "do it afraid". I want them to take risks to help combat fear and get them to "the next level" of their lives. I also want them to fail. Maybe that sounds cruel but I know if they fail they have an opportunity to get right back up and be better than they were before. No one ever taught me that. We have already had several times in our kids lives where they have failed in something whether it be school, sports or relationships and because of our constant encouragement and not allowing them to give up they are becoming 3 young men I am so proud to call my sons. 

ULTIMATELY WE KNOW DEEPLY THAT THE OTHER SIDE OF EVERY FEAR IS A FREEDOM~MARILYN FERGUSON

Endorsement

I have been involved in some kind of sports my whole life. In school I was a runner and played volleyball and basketball  and would compete not only with my school but district wide. As I got older running seemed to me the obvious choice to stay in shape and worked for me for years. Not any more! I have major issues with my knees so therefore cannot run anymore. It was such a hard thing to accept but I knew I needed to find something instead of giving up (which I have kind of done for the last year). Allow me to say I have found it. Now, I have done tried lots of home workouts (remember Betsy?) but nothing has kicked my butt like this. It's called Turbo Jam and there are lots to choose from. Punch, Kick, Jam. Cardio Party 1 and 2. Total Ab Blast and last but not least Total Body Blast. I have been doing all of these work outs for the last 8 weeks on average 5 days a week and I have never seen or felt results like these. So, if you are looking for something and don't have money to join a gym I encourage you to give these a try. Oh, and let me know if you do and what you think. 

Innocence

Saturday evening right as we were finishing dinner our friends daughter Bethany came over to play with Jack and JD. As she was sitting at the table with them while they finished E! news came on TV. No one was really paying much attention until an image of Jamie-Lynn Spears came on and the kids started talking about her show Zoey 101. What proceeded out of Jackson's mouth and seeing his facial expressions was priceless and made me realize just how innocent he still is. Here's how is went down.

Jackson: Ya she is in that show Zoey 101. I really like that show

Bethany: I don't think I've seen it, we don't have cable.

Jayden: Didn't she have a baby?

Me: Ya just recently I think.

Jackson: What??? She had a baby, how old is she?

Me: 16 or 17

Jackson: Wait a second... (you can tell he is thinking) is she married?

Me: No

Pause, his facial expression begins to change

Jackson: You mean...

Jayden trys to interject but I beat him to it

Me: Yes, she had sex before she was married.

Jayden: Ya that's what I was getting ready to say

At this point Jackson has stopped eating and the look on his face is of pure disgust.

Jackson: That is absolutely disgusting, I can't believe she had sex and wasn't married. 

There you have it. Man I love that kid. He is so innocent, still to the point he doesn't get why Bethany's mom and I won't let them have sleep overs. I am going to cherish this for as long as I can.

***Disclaimer: We aren't stupid, the sex talk has been had I guess he just has decided  that God says no sex before marriage and thats that. 

A Wal-mart Friend

Sometimes you just need a friend to go and tolerate Wal-mart with you...I am thankful Debra is that kind of friend. In Florida I was blessed with a super Target down the street from my house so I didn't have to endure the stress of Wal-mart. In case you aren't familiar Super Target is clean, has large aisles, is free from clutter, quiet, never busy, no lines (except at Christmas) basically all the things Wal-mart is not. Well, the little town I love only has a Wal-mart so I must again endure the pain and suffering of shopping there in order to feed my family (insert dramatic sigh here). The last couple days have been a little stressful and I have been struggling to keep my head above water. Today, when Debra called and asked what I was doing and I told her she just offered to go and endure with me. I was so blessed you have no clue. I don't think she really understands what it meant to me that she went. Just a quick background...I have only known Debra since I started at my new Starbucks only 3 months ago but she has already proved to be a friend. Someone you know you can talk to and trust. Someone who will be honest with you, someone who likes you for you. She is awesome. I hope you are blessed with a Debra in your life.

Still praying for baby Grace

After we made all our calls and talked with our agency and got ALL the facts this is what we know. If we plan to continue our adoption journey right this second our agency, Children's Hope International cannot help us. They are still appealing the decision to not give them the Hague accreditation they need for all China adoptions so using them would be out of the question. However, we could start all over again with another agency but this is not even an option as far as we are concerned. We could however, choose another country to adopt from. After discussing the different countries with a representative and getting a general idea as to how they work we are considering Ethiopia. The cost is about the same but we wouldn't have to be in country as long, only 5-7 days vs the 14 we would need to spend in China. It isn't that we object spending so much time there and certainly wouldn't base our whole decision on it but with 3 kids at home to think about its something to consider. Also, the process isn't as long. From the time we put in our dossier in for China we can expect to wait 24 to 36 months just for a referral and from there another 2-3 months before we travel. From beginning to end with the Ethiopia program its only 9-15 months. This also is a huge deal for us especially considering we are on our way to being 40. Again, not that any of these things will make or break the decision in adopting a baby. Anyway, as you can see/read we have several things to consider and we are once again asking you to join us as we make our requests known to God. His timing will be perfect for bringing our daughter home. We are not losing hope. It just might be going down a different road than we originally thought. Personally, I am excited to see where that road leads and more excited you are on it with us. We can't do it without you. Blessings.

An Obstacle

We received this email from our agency in July. What it means for us is this...because we were only in our application phase we can no longer proceed with them and all monies submitted are gone. (All application fees are non-refundable.) They are appealing the decision so I am not sure what that will mean if they are approved somewhere down the road. I am sad, sad for my grandfather b/c this agency is his blood, sweat and tears, sad for Brian and I and the thought of having to start again with another agency or not at all. We are praying about where to go from here. Please join us and pray also for quick resolve with their Hauge accreditation.

On July 9^th, 2008 CHI was reviewed by COA for our Hague accreditation. Yesterday, July 17, 2008 we were informed by COA that our Hague application has been denied. Our denial was based on being non-compliant in one state where we are licensed. This was not brought to our attention until last week after the Hague review was already underway. We are currently working to resolve this issue and will be requesting from COA re-consideration to our approval.

Specific information on how this affects you - or if it will affect you will be coming in the near future from your specific program.

We are going forward in the faith that this will soon be resolved. We are committed to you and your adoption.

Thank you for your patience and prayers during this time.”

Dwyatt Gantt

Can I just say...

Whenever you are out and you are a customer somewhere whether it be at a counter or in a drive thru...

GET OFF YOUR PHONE!!!!

You have no idea how frustrating it is to deal with you and try and get your order when you are talking to someone on the phone. We don't know if you are taking to us or the person on the other end. Not to mention its rude. If you can't hang up at least put it down for a minute. I am sure whomever you are talking to will understand. This will eliminate getting your order wrong and will speed up service. Please have some respect and treat others as you would want to be treated. I understand some of you have never worked in a drive thru or say fast food so can't understand so take it from someone who does it everyday...its RUDE!!!!!


Note: This does not just apply to drive thrus or fast food restaurants please apply this to grocery stores, department stores and even just getting ice cream at Marble Slab. Thanks.

Finally...an update from NC

Well, we did it!!! We moved again. Only the 4th time in 3 years. Not too bad. In case you are just joining us we just moved from Florida to North Carolina 3 weeks ago. Brian had already been there almost 6 weeks when he flew back in to move us. While he had been in NC I was busy packing up the house and still working while the kids finished school. I am not gonna lie, it was hard work. I have a new appreciation for single moms and military wives. Brian flew in on the Thursday and Friday our Starbucks family plus a few other faithful friends spent hours packing, loading and sweating. It was touch and go for while as we didn't think everything would fit in the truck. So much so I found myself setting things aside saying I can part with that and that and that. In the end it all worked out and about 8am Saturday we hit the road. I can honestly say I never looked back. Apart from a few close friends I made through Starbucks I was not at all sad to leave Florida. Personally, I think it's an amazing place to visit but a terrible place to live. The drive was so great and flawless I have no fun stories.

We arrived late Saturday night and when I rolled off the air mattress Sunday morning I felt as if I had a knife stuck in my throat when I swallowed. However, there was no time to be sick so on we all went unloading and unpacking. By the time the 4th of July rolled around I was so sick I could barely get off the couch. I missed all the 4th festivities and didn't get to meet all these people I had just heard Brian talk about for the last 6 weeks. Let me tell you word travels fast in a church like that and before we knew it we had all these people bringing us meals 1. b/c we had just moved in and 2. b/c I was sick. I could not believe it. I felt very thankful and overwhelmed at the same time.

So, here we are almost 4 weeks later and I can't tell you how much I LOVE IT HERE!!!! This is where we are meant to be. It feels so natural to be here, like its always been. I know why God brought us to Florida but I will thank Him everyday for bringing us out.

P.S. I know this is very brief but I will try and let you all in later on other stuff. Be blessed.

5 years ago today...

• her pain and suffering ended
• my father lost his wife
• I lost my best friend
• she met Jesus
• I knew what hell was
• I knew God's sovereignty

As 5 years has passed us by and we have all managed to pick up the pieces and live our lives without her I recognize more and more how short life is. The pain of that day is as real today as it was 5 years ago. Remembering how I sat with her one last time as she turned cold. I held her hand to my face in an effort to never forget what it felt like to be touched by her. I was afraid to leave for fear I would forget. But now, I see her in my relationships with others. As I remember the type of women she was I long to be like her. So selfless and accepting. Always thinking of others ahead of herself. Laughing through tears, singing and praising through the pain as the cancer ate away at her body. Never giving up hope, never faltering in her faith and ultimately living her life for His glory to the very end. She always said she won either way and she was right. Not a day goes by I don't miss her but as I look at our family and see how we let God turn mourning into morning I thank God for every minute I did have her and all the things she is still teaching me even 5 years after her death.

Walking by Faith

Today was a rough day. Brian and I have had some really tough decisions to make lately. We have prayed, called for wise counsel, cried, prayed some more and have just been holding on to hope. The housing market is not what it once was so it feels so hopeless. The kids and I were going to be joining Brian the 20th of this month but after more prayer and thought Brian decided we should wait a little longer and hope we get an offer. This was not what I wanted to hear. Even after I prayed last night "Lord, I trust Brian and whatever you show him is the right thing to do I will follow", man I was mad. Then sad. I spent the better part of the day praising and worshipping God through gritted teeth and tears. However, in faith I also went to the store and bought bubble wrap and packing tape to resume packing. Jared and I emptied the china cabinet onto the table so I could begin boxing it. In the middle of the mess I got a text. SHOWING TODAY 230-330. I couldn't believe it. HOPE. I finished up that part of the packing, then ran around to finish straightening the house. Later on today I had a meeting at work and on the way home another text...OFFER FOR (our address) BEING FAXED TODAY. Are you kidding me?? An offer? I sat there and cried and thanked God for HOPE! There are still a lot of hoops to jump through but I am holding on to the One Who is holding on to me. Thank you Jesus you never let us go. If you think about us...please pray. Thanks.

Got Miracles??

I know You do. I need one. Thanks for agreeing with me...

13 years and on our way to Forever...

Today is my anniversary. Brian and I met 13 years 3 months ago at a seminar when we were working for the same company. It was instant, things were rough for quite a while (it's what happens when you marry someone you don't know) but soon we figured out not only did we love each other but we liked each other. Here are some of my reasons; he is my rock, he helps me stay balanced, he loves God, he loves his kids, he loves his mom, he loves my family, he works hard, he has passion, he's edgy, he knows how to relax, he's a dork, he makes me laugh more than anyone has or will, he's selfless beyond words, he's humble, he's a peace maker and a peace keeper, he's young at heart (and in years, lol), he's not afraid to take chances, he says he's sorry, he admits his weaknesses, he loves me for me.

I love you and miss you babe, Happy Anniversary!!!

Happy Birthday Jackson, we love you!!

11 years ago today Jackson Scott came into our lives weighing 9lbs 4oz and even had an extra thumb. He is the sweetest little boy who is growing up too fast. He loves to read, play video games and watch way too much t.v. He also has the most creative imagination. You should see what he can do with Lego's and the stories he writes show talent beyond his years. He blesses me everyday and I'm so proud to be his mom!!

Needs

And my God shall supply all my needs according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus...

I know I have blogged before using this verse but it's one of my favs and always bares repeating. He shall supply...whatever I have need of. Ok, here's what I feel I NEED right now. For my house to sell so my family and I can be together in North Carolina. However, as we all know timing is everything and God is never early or never late. What does it mean though, according to His riches by Christ Jesus? I am assuming because Jesus has all the riches my needs are nothing for Him to take care. I do know God will take care of this. Unfortunately I, like most humans just wish there was an eta. Ha, if only.

Let's take a moment today and thank Him for supplying all we have need of.

I wanna be in control...

I don't know many people who don't. There is nothing right now I can control in my life and this past week has been harrowing. Worse yet is me and my feelings letting it get to that point. I think this is only one of a very few times where I have no choice but to give it all up. Usually, there are at least some things I can have a handle on. Currently, there are NONE!!! As this week is coming to an end I have realized I wasted an entire week upset, afraid, and out of control. What else have I realized? To be in control is to be on my own, apart from Him Who created me. I don't want that. I am giving it up! I am sure I will reach a point when it will be day by day but for now it's hour to hour. Who else struggles with this? Admit it and join my club. ;-)

Time's UP!!!

We're at it again.
On the move.
To North Carolina.
A new job.
A new life.
God is good.

...stay tuned

35 Years Young

Well, it happened again. I am another year older. Last night a few friends from Starbucks and beyond got together to help me celebrate. Needless to say, it was a blast. For pics go here. FYI...only 3 days to go and all will be revealed. I am so ready for it to be over. "See" ya Friday.

What's Important to YOU?

I have heard it said, more times than I'd like in recent weeks that WE MAKE TIME FOR WHAT IS IMPORTANT TO US.
Here is my list as of late, in order

1. Praying
2. My husband and kids
3. Work
4. Sleep which includes naps in the sun ;-)
5. Church and friends

I am sad to say Church and friends has not been at the top of my list lately. In fact I recently sent a card to a good friend of mine out of state because I felt it was the only way I could make time to let her know I was thinking about her. I love her and when she called to thank me for the card we spent an hour on the phone. It was so amazing to re-connect. Before we hung up she even said next time just call. I know she is right, I just feel like no one has time for that anymore so instead of bothering people I just don't. It's kind of crazy for me to be this way because I try hard to live by the words TREAT OTHERS AS YOU WOULD WANT TO BE TREATED. In fact it's one of our family motto's. I just get so tired of reaching out to others and no one reaching back. Does anyone else feel like this? What kinds of things are important to you?

How Are You?? (Just over 15 days to go by the way)

How many times a day do you ask someone how they are? Personally, there are days when its too many to count. For example at Starbucks where I work, if I am running the front or drive thru this is often the first thing I ask. Why do we ask this? It's an age old argument. Well, it's the polite thing to do right? OK, so maybe it is but do I really want to know? If a customer was to sit there and start telling me how they were late for work, had a fight with their spouse, yelled at their kids, needed the caffeine so they wouldn't have road rage on the way to work do I really care? The truth is right then and there, NO I don't care. Not because I am heartless but because the line has to move and I don't have time. There is never enough time is there? Isn't that how we feel. I think once a connection has been made then we might open up and tell people exactly how it is. I have a few friends in my life who when we talk will truly want to know how I am. In fact I had one of these talks just this morning with a friend from far a way. It is always refreshing because I can tell her anything and she never judges me, just prays and gives her advice. We all need people like that in our life.

So, here is some vulnerability...lately I have had some anxiety. Here and there, nothing too bad. Last night, I had so much anxiety I felt as if the bed was going to collapse under the weight. Truthfully, there is much to be anxious about. But, what was so draining for me was lying there and even through all my praying and begging to God there was no reprieve. WHY? Was I not praying the right way? Was I not saying the right scripture? Am I chemically imbalanced? HA!!
I don't think it is any of those things, I just think it's something I need to work through. If you are having anxiety, here are some scriptures we all know. Let's band together and pray for each other. Let's lift each other up when the weight of the world is trying to crush us. Lets take time to listen when we ask someone how they are.
Ecclesiastes 11:9-10 Be happy, young man, while you are young, and let your heart give you joy in the days of your youth. Follow the ways of your heart and whatever your eyes see, but know that for all these things. God will bring you to judgment.

So then, banish anxiety from your heart and cast off the troubles of your body, for youth and vigor are meaningless.
Psalm 94:19 When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul.

1 Peter 5:6-8Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

30 Days... it's not what you think

Life is so good, good friends to share it with makes it even better. I'll be back...

"Seeing" You All Later...

Since I have little to nothing to report these days I am going on "leave". There is so much happening right now but nothing I am able to discuss so therefore I will be back in a couple of months to let you in on all the secrets of our lives. I hope you will still check in and if you don't have no fear I will email you letting you know when something new has posted. You are welcome to email me but otherwise, I'll "see" you all soon.

God News!!!

I know I have been a little behind with this blog but that is simply due to the holidays. Should be back on track now.
We are on track to begin our home study. However, with the holidays, my dad's visit and Darin's (Brian's brother) wedding this weekend everything has kind of taken a back seat. So, as soon as we get that started we will post all the fun details.

On to the God news. Yesterday and today Brian was at his annual district sales meeting. He won 3 awards. The first was for a promotion called I LIVE FOR THIS $ and he won $XXX.XX. Weird numbers I know but I don't want to post the amounts. The second was for another promotion called THE BUCK STOPS HERE and he won $XXX.XX. Triple digits aren't too bad right? Well it gets even better than that! His main award was ROOKIE OF THE YEAR and with that comes a 4 day all expenses paid trip skiing in Utah. I cannot tell you how proud I am. He has worked really hard and it obviously was worth it. Now, I haven't been skiing since I was 10 so I'll be opting for the spa package instead. HA!! There are several reasons this is the most amazing blessing ever. First off Brian and I would never take a trip like this right now b/c our adoption is at the forefront of all financial decisions we make. Second, it will be freezing there and I love the cold so it will be such a nice change. Last and certainly not least Brian and I have been working so much we are like ships in the night so this will be an amazing way to connect and be alone.

One more thing. Please continue to pray for Nathan and Tricia. If you haven't been to their blog, the readers digest is Tricia has cystic fibrosis, she was in critical condition so they had to deliver their baby at 24 weeks. Things are still critical for her. Their baby girl weighed in at 1lb 6oz so they need LOTS of prayer. Please continue to pray and pass the word along. This family is precious. Thanks!!

Critical, please pray.

They need your prayers in the most desperate of ways. Please take a moment and pray for them. Also, please spread the word to all who pray. Thank you.

Please Pray...

PLEASE PRAY

THANK YOU.

End of the Year post

My dad made it in safely from Tulsa despite all the bad weather so suffice it to say we have hit the ground running. Since Brian and I hadn't even started shopping and my dad does it when he gets here, it's all we've been doing. Not much to report on the Adoption front. The adoption agreement was sent in a while ago so now the fun part. Paper chasing (as it's known) and we will begin our home study in the new year. Not to mention all the fund raising that will take place. If you ever think of us, please do not forget to forward us to anyone you come in contact with also on this type of journey. Or anyone willing to donate to a good cause. wink wink! In all seriousness we are looking forward to sharing lots of exciting news in '08. Thanks for being with us so far, it's been a blast. Here's a little end of year funniness...

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Not Alone

Today our family had the privilege of finally meeting our agency liaison Cathi. Cathi is our contact person here in Florida. We have been speaking with her for over a year now and she has walked us through every step so far. She has answered every question and listened to every fear. She is amazing. Cathi and her husband have adopted 4 girls from China so she has plenty of hands on experience. Sadly, Cathi will be leaving at the end of the year to pursue other things and even though this is the beginning for us, we will really miss her. Every year they host a picnic for all the families who have adopted or are in the process of adopting with Children's Hope International (Florida). It's a great time to meet others who have been there done that and those who are waiting like us. Its awesome to be able to ask questions and its also really inspiring to be around these precious little ones who have finally found forever families. One couple we spent quite a while with are Paul and Karen. They are 19 months in and waiting patiently just like all of us. They are aware the time could be as long as 3 years before they receive their referral. That said, they are so positive and were such a joy to get to know. They are making a difference in their church and their community as they wait to bring their daughter home. I was inspired. It was a great time and it really helps to know there are others in this process and we can all be an encouragement to each other.

National Adoption Month

As some of you may know November is National Adoption Month. November 17th was actually National Adoption Day, I thought that was pretty cool since it was the day we had our first fund raiser. Anyway, I realize adoption is not for everyone however there are ways to be part of the solution without bringing a child into your home physically. Something we can all do is sponsor a child to give them a chance at a better life right where they are. About a year ago while Brian and I were waiting to begin our adoption my grandfather sent me a photo and information regarding a little boy in China. Zijian is his name and he was abandoned when his parents discovered he had cerebral palsy. As we looked into it more we realized this was an amazing way to be part of the solution. To make a difference in his life as we waited for Grace. If this is something you might be interested in doing you can click here. Of course there are lots of different places to do something like this but my hope is just to create more awareness and remind people we can make a difference.

Major Success

Since I have almost no time left before we leave town, just wanted to take a moment to tell you what an amazing day it was for us on Saturday. We had HUGE success with our garage sale and made just over 300 dollars for our adoption. We wanted to once again thank all of you who sent our email to others, prayed for us, donated items, the sign makers (we had the greatest sign), the amazing people who not only donated their driveway but also made us breakfast and lastly the special person who stayed up really late helping me get it all priced and sorted through. You guys all know who you are and you are totally amazing and we are honored you are partnering with us. We cannot do this without you. We pray Thanksgiving Blessings for you all and look forward to updating you more after the holidays. Don't forget to check the website when you have time!! Love you!!!

Oh and by the way, since this was just the first of many garage sales to raise money please remember us when you are getting rid of anything, we will be happy to come and get it. Remember, one man's trash is another man's treasure. :-)

Milestone 2

Our garage sale is tomorrow and we are so excited. We had so many people donate stuff, we are overwhelmed by the blessing. As of yesterday we were 50 dollars short to submit our adoption agreement until another 100 dollars unexpectedly came in, so going into the garage sale we have 50 dollars towards the home study fee. This fee will be anywhere from 1,000 to 1,600 dollars. I will be making the call for our first appointment on Monday. Obviously there will be somewhat of a delay for certain things now the holidays are upon us but that will not stop our efforts to get our information out to people who are interested. We hope you all have an amazing weekend and pray for our garage sale to go well. I will post some pics next week.

October/November Fun in Pics

We interrupt this adoption blog to bring you some fun family pics. Halloween was a blast. The boys were both pirates for their Character book parade at school but for the trick or treating Jayden decided to be an '80's skater. Go figure. At this one house there was a pug dressed just like Jack (Captain Jack Sparrow) so I couldn't resist a pic. The dog seemed less than impressed. There's also a less than flattering pic of Jared and I but it is Halloween, a time to scare people. The beginning of November brought Jared's first Homecoming and his last race of the season (video to come). I think I was much more excited about homecoming than he was. He allowed me to be a chaperon which was so much fun. I tried to stay in the Cafeteria and away from him as much as possible so he wouldn't think I was trying to spy. He looked so amazing. His little friend who went with him was just too cute. Funny thing was, besides the initial pic the photographer took they went their separate ways the rest of the evening. Kids.







Our car wash did not pan out as expected due to the fact all the good gas stations get booked months in advance. Who knew? Plus since we are not a school or church we are going to have plead our case and hope they will still allow it. However, all is not lost. Our friends in the next neighborhood over are having a community garage sale next weekend so that is plan B. Pray things go well. Thanks for checking in and please don't forget to sign our guest book. Blessings.

Will the mystery guest please sign in...

As you can see from the side bar it shows we have raised 730 dollars, take away the monies spent of 100 dollars from our application fee and we are just 70 dollars from being able to send in our adoption agreement. The 200 dollar donation we received this morning has brought us even closer. We are blown away by all the money donated but I think this one really moved me b/c we don't even know this person. The fact someone somehow found us and believes in what we are doing and trusts we will do with the money what we say is amazing to me. It also reminds me of God's goodness. Thank you so much Maitland, FL.

Not Wavering

Once we knew we were approved I called our agency to ask about how long it would take to receive our adoption agreement. She explained it would be in the mail right away and so me, being the impatient one I am got frustrated when it didn't show up the next day. Is this in God's hands or not ? I reminded myself it was and even though I looked for it daily I was fine when it didn't come.

More donations came in and Brian and I tried to sync our calendars to have our first fund raiser but between all the baseball games, cross country meets, church responsibilities and work it seemed like we never going to get started. Finally, a date worked for both and so we are happy to say Saturday November 10th we will be having our first fund raiser. YAY! Don't know where or what time yet but we'll let you know.

So, one of the main reasons for this blog was to help us somehow network with other families also on this journey and to tell you the truth this was my main concern. I know we have people who are supporting us and are praying us through etc. but there is something about being on the same road as someone else and having that connection no one else quite gets. So, here's the exciting part...one of my Starbucks regulars Kelli, and her husband Dean are on this journey also. They already got their LID (log in date, meaning their dossier has been accepted by the Chinese gov and they are on the list for their referral) so they are about 6 months ahead of us but that doesn't matter. Kelli and I have spoken a couple of times and it's so refreshing to hear of someone else's journey and to know we can walk the road together. Thank you God.

Ok, back to waiting. Saturday it came and I was thrilled. It's huge, so much paperwork. We only have 60 days to get it back to our agency and still haven't raised the rest of the 700 we need to sign the agreement. Not only that but since I allowed my permanent residency card (green card, which by the way is pink) to expire I just had to spend 370 dollars to apply for a new one. I was so angry with myself. But as Brian constantly says...IT IS WHAT IT IS!!!!! I talked to our agency and they said it wouldn't hold us up at all.

What does this have to do with the title? I'm not going to lie, I was wavering. Yes, already. I was upset with myself I had to spend money we didn't have and wondering if I was making all this up in my head. Last night during my quiet time the Lord led me to this scripture
Romans 4:20-21 ~ Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised. I am not going to waver, His promises are true and His desire has become our desire to bring our little girl home. I was reminded of this again in our devotion with the kids this morning. It spoke of a tightrope walker and asked the question why didn't he fall when everyone was screaming and applauding for him? The answer- because he was focused and therefore able to keep his balance. It's the same for us or anyone on any kind of journey. Our focus has to be on God and what His promises have already told us not on the circumstances of money or time.
Jeremiah 29:12-14 ~Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity.

I know I say this a lot but thanks for being on this journey with us. Blessings.

And Baby Makes Three.

I have just heard/read the news, my precious friend Shannon and her husband Adam have finally been given the go ahead to go and pick up their baby girl, Analise Jade from Guatemala. I have known Shannon for 7 years and I can't think of anyone who deserves this more than her. It's been such a joy and inspiration to watch this whole process unfold and my heart is jumping for joy for them. We love you Shannon and can't wait to meet baby Analise.

One Word...APPROVED!!!

Well, the first approval has come in. Our application is approved!!! We are thrilled. So, this is where we go from here.

~ Our agency will send us our adoption agreement which among other things states we will not use any other agency but them. It's also the first set of pages of our dossier.

~ $700.00 and our signatures seals the adoption agreement deal and allows us to proceed with a local social worker and begin our home study.

~ From what I understand our home study will cost anywhere from $1200.00-$1600.00 and will take approximately 90 days.

During this time I am sure there are mounds of paperwork to collect, fill out and send in.

So, what now??? Well, in just over a week you have sent in $350.00 and we are so thankful. Now we have been officially approved the fund raising can and will begin. Any ideas? The standard car wash and garage sale are a given but I am open to any suggestions. Please help us out.

Alright, guys here we go...we are so excited you are on this journey with us. We can feel your prayers and can't thank you enough. Keep checking in...

Guestbook

I know there are several of you out there who are not into leaving comments but if you would, please go and sign our guest book to let us know you stopped by. We would really appreciate it. Thanks!

One Week and Counting

Today is Monday and it's been a week since we submitted our application. I know, only a week. I know what you are thinking...if she's having problems after only a week God help her and us. No, I am fine I was just letting you know. Things have been going really well and last week was such a great week. Let's see if I can catch you up.

Thursday Jayden and I had to get our eyes checked and that was a totally new experience for me. They put a local anesthetic in my eyes in order to do this certain test and then proceeded to dilate them. Let me tell you, I have a whole new appreciation for my sight. I felt blind for what seemed like hours. And whats worse
is my sunglasses weren't enough so they shoved these black film looking things between them and my eyes. Yeah and stupid me thought well how bright can the sun be. I shouldn't have checked. It made things much worse. It seemed unfair b/c Jayden's went back to normal after only an hour. Needless to say I am thankful to see as well as I do. Later that evening we met a friend of mine who's an amateur photographer to take some pics since we are long overdue for a family photo. We got a couple good shots but I'll save those for another time.

Friday was really fun. Jayden was picked for one of the authors of the month so we went to hear him read his story to his peers. His story was about One Wish he had and his was how he died and got to go and meet God. He talked about how God looked really responsible and intelligent and how he worshipped at his feet. About how he read the bible to God and how amazing He was. Then it talked about how we were sad b/c he had died and him and God were looking at us. WOW! It finally ended with him saying he hadn't really died but he did wish he could go and see God. I have to say I was pretty impressed he'd been chosen considering its a public school.

So, that same day my son invited me to have lunch with him. My 14 year old. Can you believe that? And he didn't invite me to pick him up and take him to lunch, he invited me to actually come to his school and eat with him in the cafeteria with all his friends. I, of course did not say no. I felt so cool. His friends were so nice although I tried not to talk too much just in case I embarrassed him. We talked mainly about what they were all involved in, the different cliques and of course the upcoming Homecoming Dance which Jared informed me he wants to attend. Since I didn't attend school in the US of A I am really not sure what this is about so they all explained.

The weekend was packed with cleaning, homework, baseball games, church and youth. Not to mention a beach party and baptism and a Bucs games for Brian. All in all a fun filled week and weekend. How was yours?

A Little Rusty

Yesterday was a looooong day. On Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday I babysit a little girl named Kylie. She is 3 and a half months old. She is a really good baby. Yesterday, not so much. Now this wouldn't have normally bothered me except I was also babysitting another little girl who was only 16 months old. Let me tell you, I was so out of my element. It's amazing to me how quickly we forget. I mean, I did that. They weren't quite that close but I had to juggle the baby and toddler thing. It wasn't that the day was hard per se but I was exhausted. Right when I thought I had got them both settled one would wake up. I would get one fed and then the other would be hungry. It was non-stop. WOW, I have so much more respect for people who do that everyday in daycares and such. I'm sure glad I'm only adding one more and not two.



A massive THANK YOU to my precious friend Betsy Leeuwner for re-designing our template. I cannot thank you enough for all you did. Just like our first time around with this blogger thing huh?








Quick donation update (which you can also see in the sidebar) we have had 2 more come in. Thank you thank you thank you!! God is faithful.

Officially Official (Long Post)

Well, the papers are on their way to St. Louis as I type these words. There really aren't words to describe what I feel knowing we have started the ball rolling. If I'm honest some of the words that come to mind are words like ~ fear, trepidation, insecurity, doubt and while this is the truth of what I sometimes feel the words that truly describe the nature of this journey are passion, love, hope, faith, amazement, joy and excitement and so you see those words out number the first set. Thank you for being on this road with us. We could never do it without the support of all of you.

I get have a devotional sent to my email everyday and today's was entitled Discipline or Regret?

This devotional was written by Jim Burns

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
— Hebrews 12:1-3

In the 1968 Olympics within the stadium in Mexico City, the stands had gone dark after an extremely busy day of some of the finest track and field events in the history of the Olympics. All that remained inside the stadium were a few judges, the clean-up crew and a handful of reporters who were filing their reports. All of a sudden out of nowhere, a runner in his country’s track uniform half hobbled and half ran into that great stadium. He was a marathon runner who was literally hours behind the official last place finisher. He ran around the track and crossed the finish line. One of the reporters ran down to the field to ask this runner why he bothered to finish the race since he was obviously hurting and no one would even count him as a finisher. The injured runner looked up at the reporter and said, “My country did not send me over 5,000 miles to start the race but rather to finish it.”

This man persevered, endured the pain and finished the race. What a hero! What do you need to do today to sustain your life, your faith, family, or health over the long haul? Is there something in which you need to wholeheartedly persevere to finish the race of life well?

Remember this great piece of advice offered to me by my good friend Bill Hall, “When the pain of remaining the same is greater than the pain of changing, you will change.” The way I figure it is that in life, we either choose the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. Choose today the pain of discipline.

This was really interesting to me b/c I know it will take major discipline to get through this adoption. And the part about when the pain of remaining the same is greater than the pain of changing... For some months now I have been asking God what is it you want me to do with my life, what is my purpose? What is OUR purpose? I know I'm a mom and a wife and I'm striving to be the best I can be but I knew there was something more. I had a sense of dissatisfaction. Little by little He's been showing me and Brian and guiding us. This adoption is just the beginning. There is so much more to come that has been birthed b/c of our passion to adopt a child in China. I thank God He is opening our eyes to it and as things progress will be sharing with you what else God has placed in our hearts.

Be blessed and please check back often.

Blessed beyond measure, already

I am moved to tears. The donations are already coming in. We feel so incredibly blessed. There aren't words. Our first donation came in from my sister and her family in Oklahoma. WOW!!! God's goodness is all over this. Thank you just doesn't seem to cut it. As soon as I can I will post some pics of the fab peeps already helping us.

For Shannon

I have been reprimanded for not posting enough. I honestly thought since there was nothing going on with the adoption why post? Well, Shannon told me I was wrong and people wanna know what's happening. We are still set to send our app in this week. Waiting for the pics to submit with the app. Anyway, thought I would share with you the pics we are submitting. We had to show 4 of the house, one of the outside and 3 of the inside. One of mom and dad and all the kids. I won't bother with the ones from the house but here are the ones of us.
















I know unless you have gone through or are going through this, you can't possibly imagine what an undertaking it is just to get the application in the mail. This is going to change our entire lives for the better. I can't tell you the peace we have in doing this.

Oh, side note: I know you are a bunch of smart people and I am counting on you all! Any fund raising ideas you have please send our way. We are looking for lots of innovative ideas. We've got several to start with but need lots more so I'm looking for those comments. Thanks!

Seriously?

Alright it has been almost 24 hours since this post and while I would like to say it was a great success... Not.
So, how about this?
Be the first?
Yeah, maybe you can be the first to give $1 and for that I will post your picture and short story of what a great philanthropist you are?
Or not?
Either way somebody be the first!
Lets get it started!

A SIMPLE PLEA?

THIS IS A SIMPLE PLEA FOR $1
YES YOU HAVE A DOLLAR AND BUY DONATING THAT DOLLAR TO GRACE YOU ARE PART OF BRINGING YOUR DAUGHTER HOME. THAT IS RIGHT YOU DONATE AND YOU BECOME PART OF THIS MIRACLE ADOPTION AND YOU SHARE A PART OF A LIFE GOD CREATED TO DO SOMETHING BEYOND OUR OWN HOPES AND DREAMS!

SO WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? PLEASE HELP, FOR GRACES SAKE!

OBVIOUSLY IF YOU GIVE MORE WE WONT HOLD IT AGAINST YOU EITHER!!!!!

Finally getting started

As most of you know, Brian and I posted SEVERAL months ago that we were beginning our adoption journey. Allow me to clarify. At that moment we decided yes this was something we knew we were supposed to do and made the call to the agency and they mailed us the paperwork. The packet came in a bright yellow folder and right away I tore through it. Then, it kind of just sat. And sat, and sat some more. Then one evening out of the blue I thought well the least I can do is start filling it out. Then it sat again. Then February came and we moved. So, it went from sitting on a table to sitting in a drawer. I would think about it frequently and wonder was this something we were still called to do? It still burned in me. I thought about her all the time, prayed for her. Hoped for her. I had doubts. We didn't and don't have 20 grand sitting in the bank. Was this God? Did I dream this? No, I couldn't have. Then one day another package, only I wasn't expecting this one. I opened it and burst into tears. My dear sweet friend Shannon who is also waiting with expectancy for her little girl to come home, had put herself aside for me. She made me a gift, a beautiful gift and had Grace's name embroidered on it. She said in her card she wanted me to have something to hold onto while I waited to hold her. That little gift now sits on my dresser as a constant reminder she is coming home. As we all know God's timing is everything and now is that time. I am thrilled to say our application will be in the mail by the week's end. Tonight at dinner we brainstormed on fundraising ideas and all the kids were on board. I cannot tell you the peace I feel about this. I know there are tough times ahead but I know God would not have birthed this in us if He wasn't going to walk through it too. Thank you for praying and don't stop. I would also encourage you to please point anyone you know our way if they have gone through or are going through a chinese adoption. We would love to connect with anyone we can on this. Be blessed and stay tuned.

It's been way too long...

No excuses. Well, except life. So, here we are, summer is over and the kids are back in school. Here's the latest in the life of maciaszek. First off, we had the greatest summer. I quit my full time job and went back to Starbucks part time in order to be there for the kids all summer. We spent most of it at the beach or someone's pool. Skateboarding and playing outside with the 5,0o00 other boys who live on our street and of course now we have a house with a backyard, grilling out. Yeah baby. There is nothing like dinner on the grill. We also spent time with friends from back home who decided to visit the new place. The Beckley's, The Pybas', The Daigle's and The Leeuwner's. Did I forget anyone? Sorry if I did.

So for the update. Jared's a freshman!!! Are you kidding me? I really thought God was not going to back out of the deal. Which was...we get raptured, I don't have to deal with highschool. Not sure which part was supposed to benefit God but never the less it has happened. He also turned 14 the week prior to school starting which was very emotional for me. He is attending a school in our neighborhood that is brand new this year which means NO SENIORS!!!! He is loving it. He is already part of the cross country team and then will play baseball in the fall. Jackson is in 4th grade now and Jayden is in 3rd grade. They also attend a brand new school in our neighborhood. They both have awesome teachers. Jayden is playing winter ball (that's a joke, winter in Florida) and Jack will start basketball in January. Brian is still selling food and recently won a trip to Atlanta to see the Braves play. No wives however, so it wasn't as good as it could have been. ;) I am now working part time at Starbucks, nannying 2 and a half days a week and cleaning an office. Yes, I am aware I am nuts. We are still very involved at our church and will start yet another home team in September. Hopefully it will be a way to connect more with our neighbors here where we live since we moved 30 minutes north of church. Are you bored yet?

Since we moved into a brand new house everything was white. I'm not talking pretty nice white either, this white is nasty and can't even keep clean white. So, that had to be taken care of and fast. Everyone knows paint is the cheapest way to spruce things up so away I went. I picked colors and we did half the kitchen, half bath, living room, up the stairs and part of the loft. Anyone who knows me knows I HATE TO PAINT!!!!! But I gotta tell ya once I got into it and started seeing the results, I was hooked. I can't wait to finish the rest of the house. I have to admit though we were so beat when we finished (we did all of that in 1 week) we have yet to touch up and as I look around I know it will take just as long to do that.

Now for the info that has been on everyone's mind. J/K. The adoption papers are being filed this week and to tell you the truth, I am terrified. They have been filled out for over 6 months but for some reason I have not been able to send them in. I know this is something we are called to do and I know this is something we want desperately but still the unknown is scary. We need your prayers to take this step and put our faith out there for something we can't see. Thanks.

Well, I think that about covers it for now. Know you are all welcome here anytime. I will try not to leave it so long in the future.

P.S. Will have more pics and hopefully another house tour. Love to you all!

The Way I Remember Her...

Today marks the 4th anniversary of my mother's home going. The days and weeks leading up to this one day can, at times be very difficult, very emotional. For example Mother's Day is the hardest day of the year for me of all the things we celebrate. So many people have made the comment "but your a mom" yes I am a mother, however I had a mom long before I was one. If you had a mom like I had a mom you would understand. Fortunately for me we have had out of town guests for the last 2 weeks which has afforded me the luxury of not being overly consumed by it. I am not a depressing person by nature but for me it is a constant healing to remember her last days and all of her life and the way she lived it. Most who visit here know or rather knew my mother. Here are just a few of the ways I remember her...

Her smile- it always made her whole face light up.
Her laugh- it was infectious and you couldn't keep but laughing with her when you heard it.
Her love for God- it was overwhelming to me how much she loved her God.
Her insatiable appetite for His word- I don't remember a day ever in my life when I didn't see my mother begin her day immersed in the Word.
Her voice- she sang with passion, she sang with victory, she sang beautifully and she sang for Him.
Her passion for leading people to Jesus- I have never in my life seen someone who chased souls for the Kingdom the way she did.
Her love for her husband- my parents had their problems just like we all do but she loved him without condition. When I recollect through the years all they went through I am blown away by her continued love for my dad. Thankfully, he too is a Christ Follower and since her death serves as a marriage counselor at their church and once again feels purpose.
Her love for her kids- my mother wasn't an affectionate person by nature nor was she very verbal about things. However, I knew my mother loved us girls. As I became an adult and was having babies of my own I knew it even more. She was a strong presence for me as I began raising my boys and one of the hardest things for me since her death is not having her to turn to.
Her un-ending faith and strength- though out her life she endured many hardships, the last of which was the cancer which took her life and I never saw her faith weaken. Now, I did see her lose some strength from time to time. Especially when the doctor gave bad report after bad report. But a few hours immersed in His word and she came back out of her corner fighting once again.
Her love of life and not material things- my mother always thought and lived eternally. She knew none of the things in this world mattered. I guess you could say she was kingdom minded.

I miss my mother so much sometimes I can't breathe but this one thing I know, I will see her again and I encourage all of you who still have a mom...treasure her always. Because there is always someone out there like me who would give anything for just 5 more minutes.

Somebody's really love me!!!

Surprise, surprise. WOW!!!!! That is the only word I can think of. Last Sunday the 29th all was well as we headed for lunch after church. I was tired and could think of nothing better than going home for a nap after an exhausting baseball day Saturday. Since it was my birthday the 30th I figured I was entitled. Then as we walk into the restaurant I hear "Would you like to sit at this table" (I think that's what she said) I turned to see none other than my good, good, great and wonderful friends MARTIN AND BETSY LUNAR!!!!!!! It was over at that point. I was screaming, I was crying, I was OH MY GOSHING, I could not believe my eyes. My husband was somewhere patting himself on the back on a job well done. They had got me and I'm not easily gotten. It was THE best birthday surprise in the history of Rachel birthday's. So, once I got over the shock we all sat and had a great lunch followed by great time at the mall followed by great nap time. Well they napped. I was too wired from all the excitement. We did lots of laid back stuff like eat, shop, go to the beach, compute (which Betsy was left out of ;) ), skip work (private joke), catch up on life and of course Starbucks! She is a worse caffeineaholic than I even remember. HAHA! Anyway, we had such an awesome time and I feel so honored they thought enough of me to surprise me like that. HAPPY ANNIVERSARY LUNARS, WE LOVE YOU!!!!! Thanks again!
P.S. BAD ME, they took all the pics.

House Tour

So many people have been asking for a tour of the new house so last night we put together a quick one so the suspense might end for those of you who care. Everything is still white and some parts are still in the "unpacking" mode but this gives you a basic idea. We will do another one when we are a lot more settled. Hope you enjoy it and come visit us soon.



P.S. By the way, nothing in the house is orange, the digital camera is old and I guess the quality is not that great plus the lighting is anything but professional. HA! Maybe Iris Media can hook us up for our next tour.